1. A day without Cubs or Sox baseball makes me feel ...
|Chris Sosa: ... like playing TWO rounds of golf.|
|Matt Pais: ... so cold. So very, very cold. Sorry, I'm at Forever Yogurt. What'd you say?|
|Grant Yanney: I'm indifferent, if this question was prefaced without mention of my White Sox ... #TakeJake.|
|Kat Velez: ... like it's my birthday. Oh wait, it IS!|
|Ben Johnson: ... like driving on the Dan Ryan or walking down Clark Street.|
2. Who is Chicago's No. 1 All-Star right now?
|Chris Sosa: Derrick Rose's crutches. Keep up the good work!|
|Matt Pais: The parking attendant who didn't arrive to issue a ticket when I went over by three minutes. Thanks!|
|Grant Yanney: A.J. Pierzynski. Honorable mention to my dog Nala. She's a pitbull/lab mix.|
|Kat Velez: Patrick Sharp. Last Chicago guy to win an MVP award at an All-Star game, you know.|
|Ben Johnson: Your cousin who's not using his old window unit A/C.|
3. With so many changes on the Bulls, what should the Bench Mob be called now?
|Chris Sosa: The Bench Mopes. Don't worry, fellas, D-Rose and Luol Deng will be back eventually.|
|Matt Pais: Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters. Best name for anything ever.|
|Grant Yanney: The Raging Bull? Some players shouldn't have been brought back for the ride.|
|Kat Velez: The _e_ _h Mob.|
|Ben Johnson: The "continue to not be Derrick Rose" mob.|
4. Why do free agents keep signing with the Miami Heat?
|Chris Sosa: Someone has to help LeBron carry those increased expectations.|
|Matt Pais: A championship team in a nice climate and eye candy-filled beaches? No idea.|
|Grant Yanney: Pat Riley offers players a vial of life potion upon signing. No yolo!|
|Kat Velez: It's like they want to join a championship team or something!|
|Ben Johnson: There's so much attention on LeBron, the rest of the team is like basketball's witness protection program.|
5. How did the Packers make $47.2 million in profit last year?
|Chris Sosa: Judging by drinking habits, they must have some sort of connection to Leinenkugel's.|
|Matt Pais: Insert joke about cheese, then insert joke about Green Bay as a whole. Hooray, stereotypes!|
|Grant Yanney: Muenster cheese is on a serious come-up!|
|Kat Velez: What else is there to do in Green Bay?|
|Ben Johnson: They're exempt from the concussion lawsuit thanks to their long tradition of cheese-lined helmets.|