1. Let's have your Wimbledon prediction.
Sean Ely: Kirsten Dunst is cast and RedEye critic Matt Pais likens her performance to "swarms of bees mating angrily."
Bear Jordan: Lots and lots of grunting. I'd feel right at home!
Ernest Wilkins: Guy with many consonants in last name loses to guy with way too many vowels in his.
Elliott Serrano: I will learn to properly pronounce Novak Djokovic's name. Maybe.
Sarah Spain: Strawberries and cream for everyone!
2. The Bulls want Arron Afflalo. How does that make Carmelo Anthony feel?
Sean Ely: "[Bleep], I'm never leaving Manhattan. Maybe I'll try wearing orange arm sleeves on my legs next season ... start a trend."
Bear Jordan: And I want a tree full of delicious honey, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna get it.
Ernest Wilkins: Great! Now Rose/Noah/Gibson/Affalo/Melo is wholly possible!
Elliott Serrano: Like he wants to buy a plane ticket to Houston.
Sarah Spain: Bulls never get who they want, so Melo can feel any which way he wants. Not comin' here.
3. If Juanita Jordan's recently sold penthouse condo could talk, what would it say?
Sean Ely: "I'm really gonna miss having someone worth $170 million living here."
Bear Jordan: "Finally, Bear Jordan can move in!"
Ernest Wilkins: "Thank you, sneakerheads, I was funded by sales of Space Jam Jordans!"
Elliott Serrano: The penthouse is pitching a reality show called "The Ex-Wives of Air Jordan." It's going to run on the Oprah network.
Sarah Spain: "G.O.A.T. I know you won't mess with me, you MJ, uh uh, you MJ, uh uh. Shhhhh ..."
4. How are you passing the time until the Blackhawks' season opener Oct. 9?
Sean Ely: Watching The Mighty Ducks trilogy on repeat and calling everyone I know a "cake eater."
Bear Jordan: Welp, gotta hibernate sometime, I guess.
Ernest Wilkins: Guess I'll start pregaming? *looks at calendar* ... uh oh.
Elliott Serrano: I'm making a life-sized replica of the Stanley Cup out of toothpicks.
Sarah Spain: Making sure nothing of any importance goes five hole.
5. This World Cup so far has been ...
Sean Ely: Horrible for my liver.
Bear Jordan: Kicky.
Ernest Wilkins: Amazing! You're an uncultured butthole if you aren't into these games so far.
Elliott Serrano: As surprising as the NBA Finals. Spain has played like the Miami Heat, while Lionel Messi has had more pressure on him than LeBron James.
Sarah Spain: Soccer-y.