1. First Coach Q's crotch grab, then Seabrook's suspension. And the next embarrassment for the Hawks is ...
|Clark Jones: ... Frank the Zamboni driver's sex tape.|
|Aly Bockler: ... playoff handlebar mustaches instead of beards. Please, Chicago, not another handlebar mustache!|
|Scott Bolohan: ... Duncan Keith will ask a woman when her baby is due. She isn't pregnant.|
|John Dooley: ... Patrick Sharp suddenly loses his handsomeness|
|Leonor Vivanco: ... other than losing another game? Maybe if Jim Cornelison's voice cracked during the national anthem.|
2. What punishment would you have given Seabrook other than suspension?
|Clark Jones: Comb through James Harden's beard.|
|Aly Bockler: Ever smell the inside of that mascot costume? Put Seabs on hype man duty and give Tommy Hawk three nights off!|
|Scott Bolohan: Tell him we're not mad, we're just disappointed.|
|John Dooley: I think being forced to stay in St. Louis for a week would do the job.|
|Leonor Vivanco: A barber's choice between a mullet, the Steeglemore or rat tail -- whichever looks worse.|
3. How many sideline interviews will Joakim Noah's dad ignore during Game 2 against the Wizards?
|Clark Jones: Enough to distract us from that angel he calls his daughter.|
|Aly Bockler 15-love.|
|Scott Bolohan: 69. Haha.|
|John Dooley: 36.|
|Leonor Vivanco: None. His son just won the NBA's Defensive Player of the Year. Who wouldn't want to brag about that?|
4. What's the Diamondbacks' favorite thing about leaving Arizona to play in 50-degree Chicago weather?
|Clark Jones: They get to leave with three wins.|
|Aly Bockler: No threats of deportation!|
|Scott Bolohan: It's a dry 50 degrees.|
|John Dooley: Excuse to bring out liquor in the dugout to keep warm.|
|Leonor Vivanco: They finally get to wear the "seasonal" clothes stuck in the back of their closets and see what it's like to not sweat outside.|
5. Chicago's South Side is to Detroit as ...
|Clark Jones: ... Honey Boo-Boo is to the North Side of Chicago. #seewhatididthere|
|Aly Bockler: ... a winning lottery ticket is to an unemployment check.|
|Scott Bolohan: ... putting relish on hot dogs is to putting cars on roads. Pretty much a draw.|
|John Dooely ... St. Louis is to hell.|
|Leonor Vivanco: ... your 30th birthday is to your 50th. One parties hard and has more fun. The other you don't even want to think about.|