1. The Blackhawks are to overtime as ...
Sean Ely: ... the Blackhawks are to losing.
Pete McMurray: ... the Cubs are to LAST place. Very comfortable, yet shouldn't be there.
Ernest Wilkins: ... I am to taking bomb shots. Every time it happens, Chicago loses.
Elliott Serrano: ... Indiana Jones is to snakes. "Hate 'em, Jock! HATE 'EM!"
Sarah Spain: ... Mike Singletary is to Vernon Davis. "Can't win with 'em!"
2. What's more famous: Coach Q's crotch or his mustache?
Sean Ely: His lack of 2014 playoff wins. Oh wait, that wasn't one of the choices. My mistake.
Pete McMurray: Ask his wife.
Ernest Wilkins: Editor's note: Ernest submitted a response so controversial that legally we can't print it
Elliott Serrano: Which one gets more television time? Don't answer that.
Sarah Spain: I'd imagine that depends on who and where you're asking ...
3. How is playoff Joakim Noah different from regular-season Joakim Noah?
Sean Ely: His voice during post-game interviews elevates to a whopping -30 decibels.
Pete McMurray: It's like picking up a chick at The Lodge and she turns out to be Kate Upton.
Ernest Wilkins: (Editor's Note Cont.) Seriously, that was bad. How does someone even come up with that kind of visual?
Elliott Serrano: The hair bun is just a bit higher and a tad tighter.
Sarah Spain: Playoff Noah gets quadruple doubles.
4. What fashion statement is Dwyane Wade getting ready to make?
Sean Ely: Who wrote this question? And why did he or she write it?
Pete McMurray: Pharrell Williams's hat and Lady Gaga's meat suit. Great visual, isn't it?
Ernest Wilkins: (Editor's Note Cont.) RedEye management is having a last-minute meeting to decide if we even want to continue employing this kind of person.
Elliott Serrano: "Cosby sweaters are cool again." To which I would respond, "WHEN WERE THEY NOT?"
Sarah Spain: Whatever it is, an actual statement will be necessary to apologize for it.
5. How can the White Sox fix their bullpen issues?
Sean Ely: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.
Pete McMurray: Scout Chinatown for the next big Asian prospect. And while you're there, pick me up some Kung Pao chicken.
Ernest Wilkins: (Editor's Note Cont.) When reached for comment, Wilkins said, "What? All I said was, "What about his crotch mustache?"
Elliott Serrano: "Nuke it from orbit. That's the only way to be sure."
Sarah Spain: If you're never leading, you can never blow it. Just ask the Cubs.