Three Bears fans walk into a bar. Let's call them Trusty, Scaredy and Doubty:
Trusty: So, Jay Cutler should start Sunday, right?
Scaredy: Absolutely! Did you see that arm strength in the Cleveland game? He fits the football into windows that Josh McCown can't. No, no … that NO OTHER quarterback can!
Doubty: Did you see him force throws in that same Cleveland game? Cripes, he cost the Bears 10 points on forced throws to Brandon Marshall, and simply got lucky that his lollipop of a toss to Alshon Jeffrey wasn't intercepted, either. Dammit, he's going to cost us the Eagles game, you just watch.
Trusty: But the Bears need to play Jay to see if he warrants an extension, or maybe a raise.
Scaredy: Exactly. Phil Emery has to give my man Cutty the shot at leading the Bears into the playoffs. If he can do it, then he can prove worthy of an extension. Just like Joe Flacco with the Ravens last year, play the man then pay the man!
Doubty: This would work great if somehow there was a reversal in the flow of space-time around Halas Hall. Flacco's contract is the most overpriced piece of paper since the Mona Lisa. The guy has basically been as good as Cutler for his whole career, and the Ravens just nuked their salary cap to keep a guy who got hot for four playoff games. I do not want the Bears to do this. No one should do this. Wait, the Packers should do this. That would be awesome.
Trusty: C'mon, now, Cutler's probably the best quarterback the Bears have had in the Super Bowl era.
Doubty: Y'know what, you're right. He is. And he's still not worth 18 million dollars a year.
Scaredy: Dude, do you remember what it was like? Do you remember "The Starting Quarterback Graphic" they'd whip out every time the Bears played the Packers? I don't want to go back there. I CAN'T GO BACK THERE.
Doubty: It's OK, man. You don't have to go back there. Marc Trestman seems to have the best handle on offense of any Bears coach in your lifetime. There are other quarterbacks. Cheaper ones who are just as good.
Scaredy: I'm….I'm scared.
Trusty: What if the Bears lose Sunday?
Doubty: Launch Jay into the Sun.
Scaredy: Stop yourself. Then his job and the season's all on the line against the Packers.
Doubty: The effing Packers.
Trusty: The Packers. Is it wrong that I kinda want to see that winner-take-all game?
Doubty: Not at all.
Trusty: Go Eagles?
Doubty: … get the hell out of here.
RedEye special contributor Alex Quigley can be heard on WGN Radio 720.Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page.