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redeyechicago.com

Bye, Jim

This is Jim Walsh's last week at RedEye. *sniff* Fittingly, we will have Hulk Hogan body-slam him as a going-away present.

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. Three Blackhawks games in four days. How will you handle it?
Matt Pais: Panicking. Or possibly not reacting at all. Not sure yet.
Jay St. Pierre: Hockey. Don't care. Bleh.
Jane Monzures: Drink lots of fluids. Don't shave. Change your underwear daily.
Kat Velez: The same way I handle every Blackhawks game -- by drinking.
Jim Walsh: All of the beers!
2. Name one thing Paul Konerko should do before his final season is over.
Matt Pais: Use a tennis racket instead of a bat. Throw a tantrum if anyone complains.
Jay St. Pierre: Steal a base. ONE BASE ... you have one in the last four years!
Jane Monzures: Play "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" on the organ at the Cell.
Kat Velez: Get traded to the Cubs so he can be really sure he wants to leave baseball.
Jim Walsh: Win another World Series?
3. If Donald Trump bought an NFL franchise, what would be different?
Matt Pais: My interest in watching one fewer team in the league. Stay away, Don.
Jay St. Pierre: There would be bad hairpieces instead of helmets. I mean, those things probably absorb impact better than a helmet anyway.
Jane Monzures: They would have hairpieces sewn onto their helmets. It could be a nice fall fashion statement.
Kat Velez: Out: dreadlocks. In: ugly, elaborate combovers.
Jim Walsh: He'd still be an ass, but with a football team.
4. Hulk Hogan is to professional wrestling as ...
Matt Pais: Unable to think of anything but the "It's Always Sunny" episode that said he had hot dog skin.
Jay St. Pierre: Nothing compares to the greatness that is Hulk Hogan. I refuse to answer this question.
Jane Monzures: "Magic Mike II," since he's done work with Matthew McConaughey and now he can move from behind the bar to the stage!
Kat Velez: ... Chris Chelios was to the NHL -- he's been around since I was born, he's still here, and it makes me feel old.
Jim Walsh: Remember "Hogan Knows Best?" That show was awesome.
5. Which Chicago athlete would you like to see in Wrestlemania?
Matt Pais: Never watched, never will. Call me when a different sport begins an event ending in "mania."
Jay St. Pierre: I'd rather see the entire Hawks roster compete in a Royal Rumble.
Jane Monzures: Benny the Bull. He already has the costume.
Kat Velez: Watching Brandon Bollig getting thrown around would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Jim Walsh: How could you not say Joakim Noah?