1. How does your NCAA tournament bracket look?
|Marc Silverman: Worse than my five on fives!|
|Pete McMurray: Remember the Michigan Avenue scene in "Transformers 3"? Right.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Like my sex life: Once promising, now a Rubik's Cube of frustration and regret.|
|Elliott Serrano: Like confetti.|
|Stanley's Cup: A lot like my distant cousin, Crushed Can.|
2. One week until baseball season. How do you feel?
|Marc Silverman: Better than Ian Stewart and Scott Baker.|
|Pete McMurray: Alive with hope that the Cubs will win the World Series. Until ... their first at-bat!|
|Ernest Wilkins: E-X-C-I-T-E-D, do you know what that means, man? (Free Lil' Boosie, by the way.)|
|Elliott Serrano: I wanna beat up the groundhog. Where is spring!?|
|Stanley's Cup: Cold. I'm hope I'm filled with coffee until June.|
3. D.J. Williams replaces Brian Urlacher for the Bears. Any advice?
|Marc Silverman: Jenny McCarthy's phone number is 867-5309.|
|Pete McMurray: Please stay away from the bars and avoid a third DUI arrest in less than 12 months.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Play well and get used to idiots who fancy themselves armchair coaches. We're nice people, promise!|
|Elliott Serrano: Talk to Randy Brown. He knows what it's like to replace a legend.|
|Stanley's Cup: Never tamper with teammate's water bottle. It's just tacky.|
4. What did the Blackhawks do during their four days between games?
|Marc Silverman: Patrick Kane made Shocker jokes all weekend after Wichita State's win.|
|Pete McMurray: What we all did -- DRINK BEER! Yuuuummmm, beeeeeeer.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Played "Assassin's Creed III" and didn't get very far, prob. Why is that game so long?|
|Elliott Serrano: "Doctor Who" marathon to prepare for the new season!|
|Stanley's Cup: Caffeine binge. Not much recover time this season, ya know.|
5. Why do the Blackhawks want to reduce the size of goaltenders' pads?
|Marc Silverman: My wife tells me the smaller the pad, the easier the movement ...|
|Pete McMurray: Apparently they don't like Crawford and Emery too much.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Because they're all about the heavy flow ... of goals, that is.|
|Elliott Serrano: It's not the size of the pad but how you use it, right?|
|Stanley's Cup: Not sure, but as someone who hates leaks, this can't be a good idea.|