1. Rate your level of dislike for the St. Louis Blues.
Leonor Vivanco: It is at the fist-clenching, stink-eye level. They must be destroyed.
Evil Super Computer: Um, zero. They're antagonizers. I love those guys!
Soxman: Chicago blues is much better, so St. Louis can go puck off.
Brad Zibung: Pretty minimal for now. Let's see how the next month plays out.
Ernest Wilkins: They're right between razor bumps and splitting the check between a group of eight at dinner.
2. How will Phil Jackson turn the Knicks' fortunes around?
Leonor Vivanco: By forcing the team to go to a daily yoga class and making them meditate about winning. He is the Zen Master, after all.
Evil Super Computer: It computes to $8.32 million. Don't ask how I got that. Your feeble human mind would not understand.
Soxman: Zen philosophy, triangle offense, blah blah blah.
Brad Zibung: Fortunes? Aren't the Knicks already rich? So I guess he could help them get richer.
Ernest Wilkins: He won't. Well, maybe he'll get Melo on a one-way trip to Chicago?
3. What do the Bulls do to get excited to play a dreadful team like Philadelphia?
Leonor Vivanco: Get excited about the pregame meal: a cheesesteak with whiz from Pat's. Yum!
Evil Super Computer: Free Blu-ray copies of "After Earth" autographed by Will Smith.
Soxman: Cheesesteaks, water ice and Tastykakes after the game. It's the best of Philly. TRUST ME.
Brad Zibung: The Bulls seem good at never taking a night off, so you'll have to ask Thibs.
Ernest Wilkins: Think about the alley-oop potential! So many alley-oops ...
4. If the grass at Wrigley or U.S. Cellular Field could talk right now, what would it say?
Leonor Vivanco: "Feed me. I'm thirsty. I hate you, Mother Nature!"
Evil Super Computer: "Anybody got an enormous blanket?"
Soxman: "The grass is much higher in Denver."
Brad Zibung: My lawyer advised me to never answer questions about grass.
Ernest Wilkins: "I'm hopped up on cold meds right now and can't feel my face." Wait no, that's me.
5. Which former Bear do you want to come back as a free agent for next season?
Leonor Vivanco: Ditka. As a motivational speaker. Somebody's gotta whip these guys into shape.
Evil Super Computer: Olin Kreutz. He was almost as angry and bent on domination as I am. MWAHAHAHAHA!
Soxman: "I'm samurai Mike and I stop 'em cold, COACH of the defense big and bold."
Brad Zibung: Do I get bonus points if I don't say Ditka?
Ernest Wilkins: Walter Payton. *Checks Google* Oh. Crap. Uh, Marty Booker?