Sports

Blackhawks season is real-life 'Groundhog Day'

At 9 a.m. the"Do do do …" of "Chelsea Dagger" blares from the alarm-clock radio.

"OK, Chicago, rise and shine, and don't forget your Uggs 'cause it's cooooold out there today," Waddle says.

"It's coooold out there every day," Silvy says

"But the big question on everybody's chapped lips ..."

"Are the Blackhawks ever going to lose?"

"March 8th?" I thought to myself. "And the Blackhawks haven't lost? How could this be? Am I going crazy?"

I go out for a walk. A man stops me.

"Scott? Scott Bolohan? I thought that was you!"

"Hi, thanks for reading," I said.

"Don't you tell me you don't know me 'cause I sure as heckfire know you! Patrick ... Kane! ‘Pointy-nose Pat'? ‘Kane the Brain'? Chicago Blackhawks? I scored the game-winning goal in the Finals? Bing."

"Patrick Kane?!?"

"BING!" Kane said.

"Quick. How many losses do the Blackhawks have?"

"None in regulation."

"I think there is something really wrong with me."

"You haven't had a girlfriend in years, Scott, and are pretty much unemployed?"

"Well, yes … but something else. I'm living the same day over and over again. Every day I wake up and the Hawks win. I've got to go."

I trip over the State Street preacher's amplifier.

"Watch out for that first step, it's a doozy!" he said.

I take the ‘L' to Cozy Corner to meet my friend Dennis. I order 25 plates of cheesecake-stuffed French toast. A waiter drops a tray of dishes.

"Dennis, I'm reliving the same day over and over."

"I'm waiting for the punch line."

"This is the 24th time. The Hawks win, I go to sleep, wake up, the Hawks win. Same thing, every day."

"What? They do have points in the last 24 games. I think you should get your head examined."

My friend Ryan walks in. "We better get going if we're going to stay ahead of the crowds," Ryan said.

We arrive at the Hawks game and find our seats.

"I'm telling you guys, it's the same shtick every game," I said. "They give up a goal or two, come back, score in the last minute and win."

"Yeah, we all know." Ryan said.

Then it dawned on me.

"When Chelios saw the long hockey season, he saw a season bleak and dark and bereft of hope. But standing here among the people of Chicago, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous Blackhawks season."

"Scott, that was surprising," Dennis said. "I didn't know you were so versatile."

"I surprise myself sometimes. Also, I have access to wikiquote.org."

After the Hawks win I go back to my apartment. Maybe this really wasn't too good to be true. I fall asleep.

"Do do do …"

Scott Bolohan is a RedEye special contributor.

Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye's Facebook page

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • Grateful Dead drummer dishes dirt, drug dependency in new book

    Grateful Dead drummer dishes dirt, drug dependency in new book

    As a founding member of the Grateful Dead, Bill Kreutzmann watched the world change from behind his drum kit, shoveling coal in the wildly tribal rhythm section as the Dead went from San Francisco underground curio to ground-breaking indie outfit, then progenitor of the improvisation-based rock...

  • Book comes out ahead of Grateful Dead farewell concerts in Chicago this weekend

    Book comes out ahead of Grateful Dead farewell concerts in Chicago this weekend

    The cliché that colors every good rock star story is “sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll." For the Grateful Dead, the trailblazing rock band known for its improvisational style, revelatory live shows and dedicated fanbase, there was that and so much more.

  • 10 best movies of 2015 so far

    10 best movies of 2015 so far

    The year’s half over! How did that happen? No idea. With six months of a good year of movies in the books, let’s see how the Top 10 list is looking, with a quote from each respective review. Note: There are a few I’ve seen that I really like that haven’t yet opened in Chicago, and those aren’t...

  • If you make less than $50,440, proposal could increase overtime pay

    If you make less than $50,440, proposal could increase overtime pay

    Nearly 5 million more Americans would qualify for overtime pay under new rules proposed Tuesday by the Obama administration, a long-anticipated move expected to affect a broad swath of salaried employees from store managers to social workers to restaurant shift supervisors.

  • Chicago's minimum wage increase attracting workers to city

    Chicago's minimum wage increase attracting workers to city

    Unlike previous summers, UniStaff is experiencing a spike in job applicants at its Little Village location, a trend the branch manager says is tied to the city's minimum wage increase to $10 per hour beginning Wednesday.

  • 'The Bachelorette' episode 7 recap: How many meltdowns can Shawn have in one week?

    'The Bachelorette' episode 7 recap: How many meltdowns can Shawn have in one week?

    Welcome to RedEye’s coverage of “The Bachelorette,” arguably the most misogynistic show on television! The format is pretty simple: Five women of RedEye each drafted five of the 25 competing men. Everyone gets one point for every man who gets through each week. If you ever want your daughter to...

Comments
Loading