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redeyechicago.com

Big hairy deal

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. First his knee, now his hamstrings. When will Derrick Rose catch a break?
Clark Jones: With a torn knee and pulled hamstrings, I hope "break" is not added to the equation.
Frank Holland: Umm ... that $100 million contract with Adidas is a break in my book.
Scott Bolohan: Hard foul, first game back.
Bear Jordan: Ease up, people. If he can dunk on me, then he's ready.
Angi Taylor: When the season is over. See you next year, D-Rose!
2. Why have the Blackhawks struggled so much the past two games?
Clark Jones: Everyone is too concerned with the Harlem Shake video they're planning.
Frank Holland: All good things must come to an end. Seriously.
Scott Bolohan: They're built for the first half.
Bear Jordan: Four words: South Side Irish Parade.
Angi Taylor: LeBron James put a streak-hex on us. Big hater!
3. How will the Blackhawks spend their three-day break?
Clark Jones: See answer No. 2.
Frank Holland: Kane, Toews and Hossa will make a "Hockey Boys" video.
Scott Bolohan: Losing ... the remote!
Bear Jordan: Icing Derrick Rose's hamstrings.
Angi Taylor: Resting on the couch and watching "House Hunters" marathons.
4. As long as the Miami Heat keep winning ...
Clark Jones: ... LeBron will think we don't see his hairline slowly resembling George Jefferson's.
Frank Holland: ... LeBron's barber won't cut his "rally receding hairline."
Scott Bolohan: ... we'll not talk about LeBron's hairline.
Bear Jordan: ... I'm chartering a CIA plane to Miami for a special mission. Wait, you didn't just read that ...
Angi Taylor: ... I'll keep hating. At least it's not the Lakers ...
5. What's the best part about college hoops' conference tournaments?
Clark Jones: The coming together for noble causes: gambling, excessive drinking and rooting against Duke.
Frank Holland: Body paint on fans, and cheerleaders and Cinderella teams!
Scott Bolohan: Their sanity. You know, like not March Madness? Think about it.
Bear Jordan: Takes the edge off of hibernating. A bear can stand only so much Honey Boo Boo.
Angi Taylor: My husband is so preoccupied he won't notice all the shopping I do during March Madness!