Marc Trestman and Leslie Frazier

Coach Marc Trestman (left) and the Bears are done playing in the Metrodome. (Getty Images / December 1, 2013)

While we're all busy breaking up the Bulls, let's break up the Bears, too.

We're good at that around here, breaking teams up before they win anything.

But before that, we say goodbye to the Metrodome.

If there ever was a facility that won't be missed by the Bag, this is the one. Never liked the noise, turf, people, roof, that silly horn and, of course, the teams. Twins and Vikings, both hated. Here are my Top 5 moments:

1. Sept. 19, 1985: Jim McMahon throws three TDs off the bench. Super Bowl year.

2. Jan. 1, 1995: Bears 35-18 playoff winners. That's back when you started to believe in Dave Wannstedt. Ouch.

3. Dec. 6, 1987: Mike Tomczak to Dennis Gentry for the game-winner; Bears clinch the division.

4. Sept. 24, 2000: White Sox clinch AL Central—despite losing to the Twins, of course.

5. Dec. 1, 2013: Bears lose, but it's the last game ever at the roller dome. That alone qualifies it. We'll never see it again.

Thanks, Minnesota, for the awful memories, and thanks for today. A truly pitiful Vikings team has knocked the Bears out of the playoffs. Typical. As for Josh McCown, it's gone from "love" to merely "like" as he starts to revert to his 11-year career averages. The key word: average.

And a quick note to Bears defensive coordinator Mel Tucker: Mel, kiss my grits. You're throwing Band-Aids on this gaping wound, my friend.

Jay Cutler: Take the rest of the year off, get healthy. You're not needed. As long as that defense reeks that bad, it won't matter.

Here's an apology/non-apology. I wanted a team that really focused on offense, but I didn't mean forget the defense and special teams! Can't we have all three?!

Whoops. Forgot. This is Chicago. We simply can't.

I'd say it's time to move on to the Blackhawks and Bulls, but really, just the Blackhawks. No Derrick Rose, no titles. Even with Rose, no titles. So now we tear that one up and start over. Oh, please, please be bad enough to get a lottery pick. Hey, it worked before! Remember Derrick Rose?

Of course we do.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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