1. How will Wrigley Field's next 100 years be different from the first 100?
|Matt Pais: That answer should be obvious, and it better happen soon.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Odds say the Cubs are due for a World Series title sometime in the next century.|
|Jane Monzures: Twice as many World Series championships! Wait. 2 x 0 = 0? Darn.|
|Shaun Davis: Hard to be worse, but Theo is off to a good start. #Repeat|
|Stick Figure: Some of the ivy will probably be dead by then. So sad.|
2. Why are the Cubs in hot water over a parking lot?
|Matt Pais: Have you been to Wrigleyville? Nothing there happens quietly.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Am I missing something? I don't even understand this question.|
|Jane Monzures: Parking at Cubs games? You mean those drunk bleacher bums are driving, too?|
|Shaun Davis: Wrigleyville likes its parking like its World Series. #HardToGet|
|Stick Figure: Do you know a better way to get rid of any lingering ice?|
3. Now that Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are linemates again ...
|Matt Pais: Their matching "Line 4 Life" lower-back tattoos are no longer inaccurate.|
|Jay St. Pierre: They can go back to being the Hawks' boyish cover models.|
|Jane Monzures: ... my date and I can again sit next to each other wearing our No. 19 and No. 88 Blackhawks jerseys.|
|Shaun Davis: ... Coach Q looks like a genius. Shouldn't they have started together though? #scratcheshead|
|Stick Figure: ... they can be bathroom buddies, too!|
4. How panicked are you over Chris Sale's arm injury?
|Matt Pais: Zero panicked.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Meh ... He's a boss. He'll get over it.|
|Jane Monzures: If he needs me to massage it, I'm ready, but baseball analysts say my massage mechanics might be bad too.|
|Shaun Davis: I'm more panicked over the guy managing him and everyone else. #SoreMeansNo|
|Stick Figure: Just please tell me they won't have to cut it off.|
5. Who said this: "He is a different man now"?
|Matt Pais: I don't know, but I prefer to imagine it in Al Pacino's voice.|
|Jay St. Pierre: RuPaul.|
|Jane Monzures: Staley Da Bear after he saw Shea McClellin with his shirt off!|
|Shaun Davis: GarPax, on Joakim: #NoMoreSeersucker|
|Stick Figure: Everyone, after seeing Patrick Kane's mullet.|