1. How will Wrigley Field's next 100 years be different from the first 100?
Matt Pais: That answer should be obvious, and it better happen soon.
Jay St. Pierre: Odds say the Cubs are due for a World Series title sometime in the next century.
Jane Monzures: Twice as many World Series championships! Wait. 2 x 0 = 0? Darn.
Shaun Davis: Hard to be worse, but Theo is off to a good start. #Repeat
Stick Figure: Some of the ivy will probably be dead by then. So sad.
2. Why are the Cubs in hot water over a parking lot?
Matt Pais: Have you been to Wrigleyville? Nothing there happens quietly.
Jay St. Pierre: Am I missing something? I don't even understand this question.
Jane Monzures: Parking at Cubs games? You mean those drunk bleacher bums are driving, too?
Shaun Davis: Wrigleyville likes its parking like its World Series. #HardToGet
Stick Figure: Do you know a better way to get rid of any lingering ice?
3. Now that Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are linemates again ...
Matt Pais: Their matching "Line 4 Life" lower-back tattoos are no longer inaccurate.
Jay St. Pierre: They can go back to being the Hawks' boyish cover models.
Jane Monzures: ... my date and I can again sit next to each other wearing our No. 19 and No. 88 Blackhawks jerseys.
Shaun Davis: ... Coach Q looks like a genius. Shouldn't they have started together though? #scratcheshead
Stick Figure: ... they can be bathroom buddies, too!
4. How panicked are you over Chris Sale's arm injury?
Matt Pais: Zero panicked.
Jay St. Pierre: Meh ... He's a boss. He'll get over it.
Jane Monzures: If he needs me to massage it, I'm ready, but baseball analysts say my massage mechanics might be bad too.
Shaun Davis: I'm more panicked over the guy managing him and everyone else. #SoreMeansNo
Stick Figure: Just please tell me they won't have to cut it off.
5. Who said this: "He is a different man now"?
Matt Pais: I don't know, but I prefer to imagine it in Al Pacino's voice.
Jay St. Pierre: RuPaul.
Jane Monzures: Staley Da Bear after he saw Shea McClellin with his shirt off!
Shaun Davis: GarPax, on Joakim: #NoMoreSeersucker
Stick Figure: Everyone, after seeing Patrick Kane's mullet.