1. What should John Danks' rehab assignment include?Chris Sosa: Matt Pais: Sarah Kustok: Kat Velez: T.J. Jagodowski:
|Chris Sosa: Moving Matt Garza's equipment to the White Sox clubhouse. Hey, it could happen.|
|Matt Pais: Listen to Japandroids' "Celebration Rock" as much as possible. Makes you want to get up and do something.|
|TJ Jagodowski: Plenty of puzzle time and loads of group sessions discussing how to get late movement on a tailing fastball.|
|Kat Velez: Watching the first two games of the Crosstown Classic at the Cell.|
|Sarah Kustok: A lot of feel-good country music.|
2. What is Marian Hossa doing to recover from his concussion?
|Chris Sosa: Repeating "there's no place like goal" in his head every chance he gets.|
|Matt Pais: Hopefully not seeing "Rock of Ages." That will only make it worse.|
|TJ Jagodowski: Chasing the ever diminishing little birds that keep circling his head.|
|Kat Velez: Carrying 50-pound bags of pierogi on his shoulders.|
|Sarah Kustok: What concussion? He doesn't remember ...|
3. If LeBron James "is not a good defender," that makes Kevin Durant ...
|Chris Sosa: ... a fan of jai alai.|
|Matt Pais: ... arrogant and obnoxious.|
|TJ Jagodowski: ... "the true future of the National Basketball Association."|
|Kat Velez: ... negative defense. Like a black hole of defense.|
|Sarah Kustok: ... the MVP.|
4. How is Roger Clemens celebrating his not-guilty verdict?
|Chris Sosa: Training for his celebrity boxing match with Jose Canseco.|
|Matt Pais: Prepping for a comeback with the Yankees. Andy Pettitte's doing it ...|
|TJ Jagodowski: Tons of steroids with old saved paraphernalia and Munchos. That puffy face truly denotes a Munchos fan.|
|Kat Velez: Picking up a totally legal country star and getting rounds of B12 shot into his behind.|
|Sarah Kustok: As long as he stays out of the woods where my relatives live, he'll be fine.|
5. What surprises will come out of the Auburn tree poisoning trial?
|Chris Sosa: The trees' relatives will testify for the prosecution, "Lord of the Rings"-style.|
|Matt Pais: Sorry, I thought you just said something about a tree poisoning trial. Come again?|
|TJ Jagodowski: Calling a Dutch elm to the stand.|
|Kat Velez: A lumberjack will be called in to tell how the trees totally had it coming.|
|Sarah Kustok: There are a lot of tree-huggers in Alabama.|