1.How will the Red Sox greet Theo Epstein when they play the Cubs this weekend?
|Georgia Garvey: With a bouquet of lilies and a sympathy card. It's hard to hate someone you pity.|
|Phil Thompson: They'll give him his very own bloody sock ... by kicking his ankles.|
|Alex Quigley: Awkward glances, a forced hug, nervous conversation, a half-ass commitment to "stay in touch."|
|Jimmy Greenfield: They'll walk by him while holding a cellphone in their hand.|
|Bag Boy: They'll invite him to the clubhouse for beers. During the game.|
2. What trade would you like to see the Cubs make?
|Georgia Garvey: I feel like Jim Mora here. Trade? TRADE? We're just trying to win a game!|
|Phil Thompson: I'll give Alfonso Soriano to anyone who can give me the last three seasons back.|
|Alex Quigley: The Cubs' win-loss record for the Dodgers' win-loss record.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Starlin Castro for another young star who can draw a walk more than once every two weeks.|
|Bag Boy: Ryan Dempster to the White Sox for Gavin Floyd and Philip Humber.|
3. What did you learn from Bears minicamp?
|Georgia Garvey: That it's much cuter than regular-size camp.|
|Phil Thompson: That Jay Cutler will be able to tell how well the Soldier Field grass is holding up this season.|
|Alex Quigley: Brandon Marshall. 100 catches, 1,300 yards, 11 TDs. Book it. Done.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: That if you ignore Bears minicamp, you will not be able to answer certain 5 on 5 questions.|
|Bag Boy: Quit your bleeping whining, Matt Forte. No one misses you.|
4. Why is it taking so long to agree on a college football playoff?
|Georgia Garvey: Because there are always teams that would rather win unfairly than lose fairly.|
|Phil Thompson: All they need now is someone they can trust to pick the right teams. Say, isn't Bobby Petrino available?|
|Alex Quigley: There's a lot of money to illegally funnel to people. It takes time.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: You mean besides money, greed and corruption? No idea.|
|Bag Boy: When there's billions at stake, it takes a little longer to split the pie.|
5. What will investigators find when they probe the Pacquiao-Bradley fight?
|Georgia Garvey: That boxing is corrupt, which will cause them to expire from shock.|
|Phil Thompson: That one of the judges was a voodoo doll made of Don King's hair clippings.|
|Alex Quigley: In an upset no one saw coming, the real winner was America.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Bourbon and hookers, as long as they look in my suite.|
|Bag Boy: The sport is fixed, rigged and built to make the rich richer. Like America.|