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1. The Bears cut former first-round draft pick Chris Williams. Cheer him up.
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Chris Sosa: "At least you're out of Jay Cutler's shoving range." |
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Matt Pais: "Now you have lots of free time to see 'Here Comes the Boom.' Not that you should, but you could." |
| Jane Monzures: "Look at the bright side: You were a first-round draft pick." |
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Kat Velez: "It's not you -- it's that Jerry Angelo picked you. Well, actually ... OK, it's you." |
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T.J. Jagodowski: "You're not Ryan Leaf and we're heading into chowder season." |
2. What should Beyonce do for the Super Bowl halftime show?
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Chris Sosa: Juggle. No one will see THAT coming. |
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Matt Pais: You can't see it right now, but I'm doing the "Single Ladies" dance. I guess I could have just said it. |
| Jane Monzures: She could get all the single ladies to watch more than just the commercials. |
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Kat Velez: I don't care, because I probably won't watch anyway. |
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T.J. Jagodowski: Avoid the huge space age dump still sitting there from the Black Eyed Peas. |
3. The Cubs lowered ticket prices. How shocked are you?
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Chris Sosa: Not at all. Beer prices will increase to compensate. |
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Matt Pais: Very. Are you telling me there's some kind of relationship between supply and demand? |
| Jane Monzures: So shocked I'm gonna party like it's 1908! |
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Kat Velez: It's almost like they're admitting that the product on the field was inferior! |
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T.J. Jagodowski: Not at all -- they'll be playing in the McDonald's parking lot, leaving the field available for corporate events. |
4. What would you do with 20-year-old McJordan barbecue sauce?
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Chris Sosa: Exchange it for sauce that hasn't expired. |
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Matt Pais: Put it on an O'Olajuwon sandwich? I have no idea what you're talking about. |
| Jane Monzures: Put it next to my 20-year-old Scottie Pippen mustard, Horace Grant ketchup and Toni Kukoc mayo. |
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Kat Velez: Look at it and wonder why I bought a jug of 20-year-old barbecue sauce. |
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T.J. Jagodowski: Use it cover up the stench of the huge space age dump the Black Eyed Peas left a few years ago. |
5. Tebowing vs. Deckering: Discuss.
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Chris Sosa: I'm about to burn whatever dictionary that came from. |
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Matt Pais: Since Tebowing now means "Barely contributing to a team that doesn't know what to do with you," I'll pass on that. |
| Jane Monzures: I would much rather be Deckered than Tebowed. |
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Kat Velez: You cannot find two things I have less interest in discussing. |
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T.J. Jagodowski: I found his satanic stumble offensive to my lord and savior, Tim. |