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1. If the Hawks make history against the Canucks, Guts McTavish will ...
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Clark Jones: ... tell us his real name, and spin some of this yarn into gold. |
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Frank Holland: ... drink beer, eat fries with mayo and say "eh" like he would any other day. |
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Guts McTavish: ... run naked down the busiest street in Chicago. It's OK. I was born without a unit. |
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John Dooley: ... adhere to Canucks fan regulations by rioting for the next six hours. |
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Angi Taylor: ... learn how to grow a real 'stache from Joel Quenneville. |
2. How are the Blackhawks blocking so many pucks this season?
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Clark Jones: They're pretending it's traffic when the president is in town. |
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Frank Holland: Two words! Ray Emery. People say we look alike, so I got love for him! |
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Guts McTavish: Hopefully some are being stopped by Duncan Keith's teeth. Puppets have long memories. (No unit though.) |
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John Dooley: Spent offseason in Springfield; massive research done on how to make sure nothing gets through. |
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Angi Taylor: Duncan Keith announced how much the tooth fairy pays out post-lockout. |
3. What's the Bulls' top priority in the second half of the season?
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Clark Jones: Car service for D-Rose to the United Center. |
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Frank Holland: A trade that would motivate D-Rose to come back. That Bargnani deal seemed legit ... |
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Guts McTavish: To hit the century mark before Betty White does? |
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John Dooley: Minimizing following sentence: "And starting at center, the man in the middle, NAZR MOHAMMED!" |
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Angi Taylor: Since D-Rose probably won't be back ... look forward to next year. |
4. What did President Obama say to Tiger Woods during their round of golf?
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Clark Jones: "Just curious, why did you leave your full name on those voice mails?" |
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Frank Holland: "Just golf." (I'm admittedly scared to say the wrong thing here.) |
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Guts McTavish: "So did Duffy Waldorf ever get any tail?" |
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John Dooley: "Can you take the G-20 summit? Putin is so annoying, and I SWEAR I won't touch your clubs." |
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Angi Taylor: "Winner pays off the national debt." |
5. If not broadcasting, what will Paul Konerko do when he retires?
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Clark Jones: Just go to U.S. Cellular Field and enjoy a game with the other two people. |
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Frank Holland: Pottery. I seem him with a kiln for some reason. |
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Guts McTavish: Participate in "Survivor" and help all us baseball purists forget about Jeff Kent's prime-time swing and a miss. |
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John Dooley: Create the now-required, awful-tasting White Sox first baseman retiree brand of beer. |
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Angi Taylor: Co-write a book with Paris Hilton: "Getting Hit in the Face With Balls, and Other Life Lessons." |