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redeyechicago.com

Gutsy

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. If the Hawks make history against the Canucks, Guts McTavish will ...
Clark Jones: ... tell us his real name, and spin some of this yarn into gold.
Frank Holland: ... drink beer, eat fries with mayo and say "eh" like he would any other day.
Guts McTavish: ... run naked down the busiest street in Chicago. It's OK. I was born without a unit.
John Dooley: ... adhere to Canucks fan regulations by rioting for the next six hours.
Angi Taylor: ... learn how to grow a real 'stache from Joel Quenneville.
2. How are the Blackhawks blocking so many pucks this season?
Clark Jones: They're pretending it's traffic when the president is in town.
Frank Holland: Two words! Ray Emery. People say we look alike, so I got love for him!
Guts McTavish: Hopefully some are being stopped by Duncan Keith's teeth. Puppets have long memories. (No unit though.)
John Dooley: Spent offseason in Springfield; massive research done on how to make sure nothing gets through.
Angi Taylor: Duncan Keith announced how much the tooth fairy pays out post-lockout.
3. What's the Bulls' top priority in the second half of the season?
Clark Jones: Car service for D-Rose to the United Center.
Frank Holland: A trade that would motivate D-Rose to come back. That Bargnani deal seemed legit ...
Guts McTavish: To hit the century mark before Betty White does?
John Dooley: Minimizing following sentence: "And starting at center, the man in the middle, NAZR MOHAMMED!"
Angi Taylor: Since D-Rose probably won't be back ... look forward to next year.
4. What did President Obama say to Tiger Woods during their round of golf?
Clark Jones: "Just curious, why did you leave your full name on those voice mails?"
Frank Holland: "Just golf." (I'm admittedly scared to say the wrong thing here.)
Guts McTavish: "So did Duffy Waldorf ever get any tail?"
John Dooley: "Can you take the G-20 summit? Putin is so annoying, and I SWEAR I won't touch your clubs."
Angi Taylor: "Winner pays off the national debt."
5. If not broadcasting, what will Paul Konerko do when he retires?
Clark Jones: Just go to U.S. Cellular Field and enjoy a game with the other two people.
Frank Holland: Pottery. I seem him with a kiln for some reason.
Guts McTavish: Participate in "Survivor" and help all us baseball purists forget about Jeff Kent's prime-time swing and a miss.
John Dooley: Create the now-required, awful-tasting White Sox first baseman retiree brand of beer.
Angi Taylor: Co-write a book with Paris Hilton: "Getting Hit in the Face With Balls, and Other Life Lessons."