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redeyechicago.com

Five on Five: Bron new

Does Megatron plus LeBron equal JumboTron? Food for thought.

By Chris Sosa, @redeyesportschi

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. If Calvin Johnson is the "LeBron" of football ...
Marc Silverman: ... we'll hear him announce "I'm taking my talents to South Haven."
Pete McMurray: ... that means Detroit is the South Beach of the Midwest. God help us all!
Ernest Wilkins: ... then Devin Hester is the guy selling hot dogs.
Elliott Serrano: ... then I'm a real-life Jedi Knight, which means we both have delusions of grandeur.
Sarah Spain: ... then Lions fans had better say goodbye -- he's taking his talents to New England.
2. What's your New Year's Day bowl game tradition?
Marc Silverman: The same thing as Illinois coach Tim Beckman. Stay at home, with no team to coach, and dip in my mouth.
Pete McMurray: Eat, drink, bet, repeat.
Ernest Wilkins: Reminding people FSU has been to more Orange Bowls than NIU has been to ... anything.
Elliott Serrano: Trying to warm up after taking the Wampa Plunge in Lake Michigan.
Sarah Spain: I usually eat several dozen bowls of food in a hungover haze, does that count?
3. Make a prediction for NIU in the Orange Bowl.
Marc Silverman: When given oranges, make orange juice. NIU by 3.
Pete McMurray: NIU 642, Florida State 0.
Ernest Wilkins: They'll put up a valiant effort, but COME ON, PEOPLE. Florida. State. University.
Elliott Serrano: All I know is no matter what happens, Ernest isn't gonna shut up about it afterward.
Sarah Spain: I predict that Jordan Lynch will eat his words.
4. Why are the Bulls playing so early on New Year's Eve?
Marc Silverman: Thibs is flying to NYC to coach the ball drop. "Stay up, Seacrest, stay up!"
Pete McMurray: It'll be 19 straight losses tor the Bobcats. Jordan wants to end the year drinking downtown!
Ernest Wilkins: Because they're all coming to my New Year's Eve party! Yes, even Belinelli.
Elliott Serrano: Coach Thibodeau needs time to make his extra-spicy cajun chili for the Bulls NYE party.
Sarah Spain: Gotta be done in time for Joakim Noah's big bash at Mother's.
5. Who in Chicago sports most needs a fresh start in 2013?
Marc Silverman: Fresh start in new town: Lovie Smith, Mike Tice, Kirk Hinrich, Alfonso Soriano ... (to be continued)
Pete McMurray: Um, let me tell you about the World Series champs of '07 and '08. That's 1907 and 1908, people!
Ernest Wilkins: In order: the entire NHL, the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox, the Fire.
Elliott Serrano: All Chicago sports fans. Only Cleveland fans have suffered more.
Sarah Spain: The Blackhawks. Actually, just any start at all will do. C'mon, Bettman!