1. What will the Bears be doing come Monday morning?
Jerry Azumah: Finishing final prayers to the football gods.
Sarah Spain: Showering in bleach to scrub themselves clean of a day cheering for the Packers.
Alex Quigley: Preparing for Saturday night in Seattle.
Jimmy Greenfield: Pretending they have a quarterback who can get them to the Super Bowl.
Bag Boy: Making plans for a trip to San Francisco, and then the offseason.
2. When Henry Melton says the Lions play "dirty," what does he mean?
Jerry Azumah: You'd better wear the steel, and not plastic, cup for that game.
Sarah Spain: They've got Playboys instead of playbooks?
Alex Quigley: He actually meant "dirrrty," meaning "like Xtina's super-slutty phase."
Jimmy Greenfield: He means if the Bears lose, they'll have a handy excuse.
Bag Boy: He means Ndamukong Suh is basically a thug, pure and simple.
3. What should the Bears' Pro Bowl selections receive?
Jerry Azumah: Brand-new contracts. Duh.
Sarah Spain: A better supporting cast.
Alex Quigley: 2-for-1 daiquiris at the Tiki Bar all Thursday long!
Jimmy Greenfield: The gift of not having to play in the Pro Bowl.
Bag Boy: The trip to Hawaii is more than enough.
4. The NIU Huskies should _____ before the Orange Bowl.
Jerry Azumah: Rub Garrett Wolfe's forehead for good luck.
Sarah Spain: Steal Florida State's mascot, "Saved by the Bell"-style.
Alex Quigley: Bet heavily on themselves. Seriously, a Huskie shouldn't be a 13-point dog.
Jimmy Greenfield: Play Mad Libs.
Bag Boy: Get to know South Beach.
5. How will the White Sox replace A.J. Pierzynski?
Jerry Azumah: Wouldn't mind seeing the Playmate of the Year catch some balls.
Sarah Spain: Slap a goatee on a pitbull and don't feed it for two weeks.
Alex Quigley: Tyler Flowers will start shopping at the jerk store.
Jimmy Greenfield: If there is a God, with Michael Barrett.
Bag Boy: By letting Tyler Flowers bloom! Sorry, that was awful.