Five on Five: Zoomin'

1. What will the Bears be doing come Monday morning?

Jerry Azumah: Finishing final prayers to the football gods.

Sarah Spain: Showering in bleach to scrub themselves clean of a day cheering for the Packers.

Alex Quigley: Preparing for Saturday night in Seattle.

Jimmy Greenfield: Pretending they have a quarterback who can get them to the Super Bowl.

Bag Boy: Making plans for a trip to San Francisco, and then the offseason.

2. When Henry Melton says the Lions play "dirty," what does he mean?

Jerry Azumah: You'd better wear the steel, and not plastic, cup for that game.

Sarah Spain: They've got Playboys instead of playbooks?

Alex Quigley: He actually meant "dirrrty," meaning "like Xtina's super-slutty phase."

Jimmy Greenfield: He means if the Bears lose, they'll have a handy excuse.

Bag Boy: He means Ndamukong Suh is basically a thug, pure and simple.

3. What should the Bears' Pro Bowl selections receive?

Jerry Azumah: Brand-new contracts. Duh.

Sarah Spain: A better supporting cast.

Alex Quigley: 2-for-1 daiquiris at the Tiki Bar all Thursday long!

Jimmy Greenfield: The gift of not having to play in the Pro Bowl.

Bag Boy: The trip to Hawaii is more than enough.

4. The NIU Huskies should _____ before the Orange Bowl.

Jerry Azumah: Rub Garrett Wolfe's forehead for good luck.

Sarah Spain: Steal Florida State's mascot, "Saved by the Bell"-style.

Alex Quigley: Bet heavily on themselves. Seriously, a Huskie shouldn't be a 13-point dog.

Jimmy Greenfield: Play Mad Libs.

Bag Boy: Get to know South Beach.

5. How will the White Sox replace A.J. Pierzynski?

Jerry Azumah: Wouldn't mind seeing the Playmate of the Year catch some balls.

Sarah Spain: Slap a goatee on a pitbull and don't feed it for two weeks.

Alex Quigley: Tyler Flowers will start shopping at the jerk store.

Jimmy Greenfield: If there is a God, with Michael Barrett.

Bag Boy: By letting Tyler Flowers bloom! Sorry, that was awful.

redeyechicago.com