www.redeyechicago.com/sports/ct-red-1205-fives,0,3085703.htmlstory

redeyechicago.com

Five on Five: Joke's on Joakim

We can't wait to hear what Joakim Noah has to say about Cleveland this time around.

By Chris Sosa, @redeyesportschi

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

Advertisement

1. What can you tell us about new Cubs announcer Jim Deshaies?
Tracy Swartz: Get ready for a new ERA.
Mick Swasko: Len and J.D. has an even better ring to it.
Soxman: He'll need to wear "da shades" to watch another year of the Cubs rebuilding.
Brad Zibung: Not sure, but Harry Caray would say "Deshaies spelled backwards is Seiahsed."
Ernest Wilkins: I thought his name was pronounced "De-shai," like that `90s R&B group.
2. What does Jay Cutler mean when he says ""I'm not gonna try to break the bank"?
Tracy Swartz: Discount me from wedding rumors.
Mick Swasko: He thought they were talking Christmas presents for K-Cav. He's still a little woozy.
Soxman: The money on his new contract: he doesn't want too many sacks.
Brad Zibung: He won't let his O-line protect the bank, thereby ensuring it might not completely break.
Ernest Wilkins: He's going to bid under the actual retail price in the Showcase Showdown, duh.
3. With Hamilton out, who should start for the Bulls at shooting guard?
Tracy Swartz: Marco Belinelli should have his chance to sparkle.
Mick Swasko: Marco Belinelli, mostly because his name is an anagram for Claim Rebellion.
Soxman: "Halo 4's" Master Chief is an awesome first-person shooter. He could be the X-Box factor.
Brad Zibung: I know you're not supposed to answer a question with a question, but does it really matter at this point?
Ernest Wilkins: I hear Brad's got a mean jumper.
4. What will Joakim Noah have to say about Cleveland this time around?
Tracy Swartz: "You're worse than Detroit. ... In basketball."
Mick Swasko: "LeBron left, and was named Sportsman of the Year. Put two and two together, Ohio."
Soxman: Straight up no bull: He's not going to be as cavalier with comments.
Brad Zibung: "I'm going to dedicate tonight's game to the loving memory of Art Modell."
Ernest Wilkins: "Something something something Cleveland Respect." *finger guns*
5. If not LeBron James, who's your choice for Sportsman of the Year?
Tracy Swartz: Tim Tebow is my Swartzman of the Year.
Mick Swasko: Doesn't matter. BBC's Overseas Sports Personality of the Year is what I care about.
Soxman: Adrian Peterson's monster comeback from injury should've given him a leg up on the competition.
Brad Zibung: Must have been a slow news year.
Ernest Wilkins: The same person I've been nominating since 1998: Master P. UUUUUUUNGH!