Five on Five: Wocka what?!

1. Who will be the next Bear to get demoted?

Marc Silverman: The schedule maker. Can the Bears play against Christian Ponder every week?

Pete McMurray: If I'm J'Marcus Webb, I'm loading up on butt warmers for the next game

Ernest Wilkins: Smokey. All that fire prevention awareness, no shirt. Just lazy.

Elliott Serrano: Mike Tice will be going from offensive coordinator to just plain offensive.

Sarah Spain: Fozzie. His schtick has gotten really tired. I mean, "Wocka Wocka Wocka"?

2. How would you punish Ndamukong Suh?

Marc Silverman: Implement soccer rules. Free kick at ball for Matt Schaub.

Pete McMurray: He lives in Detroit. Can one be punished any more?

Ernest Wilkins: Make him watch the Florida State-Florida game. It hurts, you guys. It hurts.

Elliott Serrano: He should spend an evening getting kicked in the groin at one of those self-defense classes for women.

Sarah Spain: I've always believed in "an eye for an eye" -- or in this case, a groin for a groin.

3. What's your impression of the college basketball season so far?

Marc Silverman: Illini's basketball Groce is way better than Illini's football gross.

Pete McMurray: Love it! It's like pizza -- even when it's bad, it's good!

Ernest Wilkins: No clue, been watching "Trapped In The Closet" the whole time.

Elliott Serrano: I've paid as much attention to college basketball as I have the NHL.

Sarah Spain: I thought that started in March ...

4. Printing 6,300 shirts to entice a college hoops recruit is like ...

Marc Silverman: ... the Bears printing up 6,300 "help wanted -- offensive linemen" ads. It can't hurt.

Pete McMurray: ... that girl in college you sent the two dozen roses to -- it just looks desperate.

Ernest Wilkins: ... proposing to someone at the bar you think is hot -- kinda thirsty.

Elliott Serrano: ... sitting in front of a girl's house with a boombox over your head playing "In Your Eyes." Creepy.

Sarah Spain: ... bringing three dozen roses to a first date. Looks a little desperate.

5. The NHL canceled the 2013 All-Star Game. How are you feeling?

Marc Silverman: Who? Canceled what? When? Never heard of them.

Pete McMurray: Terribly depressed. I watched Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals Tuesday. We won AGAIN, btw!

Ernest Wilkins: We ain't having hockey, folks. May I recommend a little show called "Trapped in the Closet"?

Elliott Serrano: I feel as much for the NHL as I do for college basketball. It's like a moebius strip!

Sarah Spain: Like Jerry Maguire without Dorothy Boyd -- incomplete.

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