If you suddenly feel the urge to reevaluate Shea McLellin's career, I'm right there with you.
After sacking Aaron Rodgers and breaking his collarbone, some would call that a game changer. I'm calling it a "season changer" and as a result, I'll say it. I'm buying his jersey. Plus, I'm getting the Fathead.
Furthermore, I can't believe I'm saying this, I actually like the Bears backup, Josh McCown, and would prefer it if he played Sunday instead of Jay Cutler.
McCown, McClellin. I'm now thinking of getting one of those cheesy "Chi-rish" T-shirts. No, wait. That's just silly.
So we're back from the dead and at home against Detroit. Note to the Lions: If you don't run Reggie Bush 25 times this game, you're complete idiots and I will personally demand the automakers return all the bailout money to the government by Monday.
Because, my god, our defense is bad. You've heard of the book "It's worse than you think it is." Well that goes for the D. Major Wright and Chris Conte, you're both fired. Scan the waiver wire, make a trade, call the National Safety Council (they have safeties, right?) and call Gary Fencik, Doug Plank or Jeff Fisher. I don't care. We need two safeties for Sunday's game.
By the way, we have to draft two more again in the offseason. Why are we always addressing this?
Marc Trestman, who do you think you are, trusting your offense like that with a fourth-down call? This is Chicago, sir! Don't you know you're supposed to wimp out, punt, rely on your defense and lose the game? What's wrong with you? You're not from here. That's your problem.
FYI: "Sprint 39 Zeus." That was the play. Remember it for the future. Great name.
Note to Cutler: Look at you! Helping out on the sidelines! I think someone likes his new coaches! And are you sure you want to to rush back and play this week?
Speaking of taking your time, the Cubs have finally found their man. Seriously, Presidential primary season doesn't take this long. Dale Sveum was fired a month ago. But, we get Rick Renteria. I seriously hope he's worth the wait.
Based on appearances, he could be "the most interesting man in the world."
With this job, he'll need to be.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page.