1. What can you tell us about the Tennessee Titans?
|Phil Thompson: That I've never seen ex-coach Jeff Fisher and Jeff Foxworthy in the same place at the same time.|
|Tracy Swartz: I can't remember.|
|Alex Quigley: They anagram to "Insane Teens Test," which describes their O-line play accurately.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: You can't spell "Tennessee Titans" without "tits" and "ass." I actually think that says more about my maturity level.|
|Bag Boy: Originally the Houston Oilers, they won the first two AFL championships. Nothing since.|
2. If Mike Ditka is responsible for the Bears failing to win multiple Super Bowls, what else is his fault?
|Phil Thompson: Richard Dent's IQ: zero!|
|Tracy Swartz: The growth in mustaches.|
|Alex Quigley: The Fridge Burger I had last week was overcooked. I said MEDIUM RARE.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Conan getting fired, Menudo, New Coke, and two of the four members of One Direction.|
|Bag Boy: The failure of the sweater vest to rise as a fashion staple must be attributed to him.|
3. Now that the NBA season is under way ...
|Phil Thompson: ... I predict Jimmy will let his unibrow grow in for the first Anthony Davis game at the UC.|
|Tracy Swartz: ... I am still under whelmed.|
|Alex Quigley: ... we can start a new countdown for The Return.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... I can complete my first novel of historical sports fiction, "Jersey? Sure."|
|Bag Boy: ... time to review the latest in tattoos! I'm stoked!|
4. Congratulate Jake Peavy and Darwin Barney and on their Golden Gloves.
|Phil Thompson: Wait, they're boxers?|
|Tracy Swartz: "Thanks for being the cream of the crap in Chicago."|
|Alex Quigley: I already did because we are all personal friends and hang out all the time.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: "Jake, Darwin, congratulations on winning the Kids' Choice Award of MLB's postseason honors."|
|Bag Boy: "Jake, congrats and thanks for re-signing. Darwin, congrats and get out while you can."|
5. Lance Armstrong will be burned in effigy in England. Who's next?
|Phil Thompson:Please say Russell Brand. ... Oh, they did already? Well, do it again, it didn't take.|
|Tracy Swartz: Somehow Charlie Sheen will also go up in smoke.|
|Alex Quigley: Jimmy Greenfield. He knows what he did.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: England will be burned in effigy in Effigy, Kentucky.|
|Bag Boy: Someone else who insulted the English and lies regularly. Mitt Romney.|