Anybody heard of this Rose guy?

I'm not sure if anybody in Chicago has heard about this, but apparently Derrick Rose is back playing basketball again.

Remember Derrick Rose? Little fast strong guy who won the NBA MVP a few years ago and then tore an important knee ligament? Wears No. 1 on his Bulls jersey? Think way back in your memory.

He might not spring immediately to mind because the media have been oddly silent on his injury, rehab process and subsequent return. But he's back now. He'll be right there on the court with all the Bulls you've come to know and love, such as Nazr Mohammed and Marquis Teague.

If the media had enough time to cover such things, they might ingest every available moment of Rose's participation in team activities and spit out pages and pages of pointless speculation about whether he "is ahead of schedule" or "has begun cutting in drills" or "looks ready" or "might be an improved player." They might even go overboard with that stuff, flooding our senses with a nonstop, 24-hour news cycle assault of non-updates.

But the media have been busy with other more "important" things related to the Bulls. For instance—and I can't believe I'm even writing this because it goes without saying—I'm exhausted of all the endless reports from Madrid about the progress of Nikola Mirotic.

We all know by now that Mirotic is averaging 13.7 points and 4.7 rebounds in only 20 minutes per game and shooting a sublime 69 percent from the field, which includes a 50 percent clip on his occasional 3-point attempts, plus 90 percent free-throw shooting. The media are like a broken record on how his game is translatable to Brook Lopez but with Ray Allen's shooting range.

Yes yes, we get it, that is in three games of a still-young season of combined Spanish and Euroleague play against the dregs of those leagues, but he is nonetheless scintillating. And yes, we also know that because of this, any hypothetical Carlos Boozer trade that would also involve the rights to Mirotic for, say, Minnesota's Kevin Love or Atlanta's Al Horford might end up a double-edged sword. We're Bulls fans. Tell us something we don't know.

It's all just speculation anyway until the guy actually plays in the NBA during the regular season, am I right? It's like, hey, give us a break with all this stuff, media. Tell us about this Rose guy. Like for instance: Is he good at basketball? Can he dunk? Do you think he will be good when he plays for the Bulls?

RedEye special contributor Ben Johnson is a comedia at iO Theater in Chicago.

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