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redeyechicago.com

Five on Five: Fire-y

Fire goalkeeper Sean Johnson joins the panel. Apparently he's big into dairy products.

By Chris Sosa, @redeyesportschi

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. What's the key for the Fire to be successful in the playoffs?
Sean Johnson: The key for us is staying true to the way we play and what's been most successful at this point.
Matt Pais: Touch the ball with your hands. Throw the ball in the goal. Play dumb about the rules.
Jane Monzures: Keep the opponents out of the box, which is the opposite strategy I use with my cats.
Kat Velez: Try to forget they're from Chicago and therefore doomed to failure.
Ben Johnson: Lots of running and kicking.
2. How should ties be broken in MLS games?
Sean Johnson: Ties are good, especially where maybe a point on the road can be significant at a tough place to play.
Matt Pais: Three words: "The Hunger Games." If society will go that direction anyway, may as well get to it.
Jane Monzures: "Dancing with the Soccer Stars." Goalies compete in paso doble and quick step rounds.
Kat Velez: Shootouts! Because they work so well in hockey! This is sarcasm, by the way.
Ben Johnson: There should be something I'd call "extra running and kicking."
3. What can you tell us about DC United, the Fire's opponent Saturday?
Sean Johnson: D.C. is a pretty good side. They are strong defensively and going forward.
Matt Pais: OK I've had about enough of these soccer questions.
Jane Monzures: It's like Romney and Obama playing in the sandbox together but wearing shin guards.
Kat Velez: They're from, uh, D.C. And they're united?
Ben Johnson: They are from Washington, D.C., and they presumably play in unison.
4. Chicago Fire soccer team vs. "Chicago Fire" TV show: Who's got the edge?
Sean Johnson: Oh the soccer team, for sure.
Matt Pais: If you're suggesting that TV will come to life and play sports, then who wins is not the issue.
Jane Monzures: Who ever has the six-pack abs, so if my imagination can take over now, it might be a tie.
Kat Velez: The soccer team, because they don't actually suck.
Ben Johnson: I haven't seen an episode of the show. Can you watch it without going to Bridgeview?
5. Give Fire goalkeeper Sean Johnson a nickname.
Sean Johnson: "The Milkman."
Matt Pais: "By Far The Fire Player I've Been Most Exposed To."
Jane Monzures: "Sleeping Beauty."
Kat Velez: Hockey taught me that adding a "y" or "er" to your name = nickname, so ... "Johnsoner."
Ben Johnson: "Hands."