Football is dead to us, Bears fans

I am the most optimistic Chicago sports fan you'll ever read.

I still hold hope that the Theocracy will break a 105-year Cubs drought, I believe Derrick Rose will lead the Bulls past Miami this spring, and I don't see any reason why the Blackhawks won't play in the Stanley Cup Final again this season.

But trust me, the Bears' season is over.

Sure, they'll play the games. I mean, they have to. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell would be ticked off if they went all Grambling on him. And the Bears will win a few, I'm sure.

But without Jay Cutler and Lance Briggs, they won't win in Green Bay. They won't beat Detroit the following week. And that'll place the Bears at 4-5 with a measly 1-3 NFC North record. And either Seattle or San Francisco will take the other NFC wild card spot. And and and and and I HATE EVERYTHING NOW.

It's the same problem the Bears had last year: you can win 10 games per season but if you lose the wrong six, you lose the tiebreakers. And even if Cutler returns after five or six weeks and Josh McCown engineers a .500 record in his absence, it won't be enough wins this year in the NFC.

(By the way, if you think McCown's excellent second-half performance against Washington portends more excellent performances, remember that Washington's secondary allows the fourth-awesomest QB rating thus far. Mike Tomczak would light those mups. Present-day Mike Tomczak.)

I guess we can look forward to Cutler playing meaningless games in December to justify whether he's worth a long-term contract? I guess we still have fantasy football? I guess we can adopt an AFC team to rent for a season? I guess we can start paying attention to Mel Kiper Jr. to see what college player will be available in the Nos. 10-15 range next spring?

I guess we can—gulp—do things with our families and friends on Sundays?

RedEye special contributor Alex Quigley can be heard on WGN Radio 720.

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