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1. What should Eddie Olczyk get for being inducted into the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame?
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Mick Swasko: A hockey season, and an option to buy a few vowels for his last name. |
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Evil Super Computer: Artificial limbs, to replace any feeble human parts that don't work anymore. |
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Soxman: How about an NHL hockey season to actually do play-by-play on? |
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Brad Zibung: A plaque at the Hall of Fame is enough, don't you think? |
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Georgia Garvey: A free set of teeth! |
2. Dusty Baker got a two-year contract extension from the Reds. Congratulate him.
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Mick Swasko: "Here's that `In Dusty We Trusty' shirt I bought a while ago. It's yours." |
| Evil Super Computer: "Enjoy it while it lasts. Soon there will be no contracts -- only computer conquest!" |
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Soxman: "Congrats, a two-year extension is more than Mark Prior's career got pitching under your leadership." |
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Brad Zibung: I'll congratulate him as soon as he finally comes out to calm Mark Prior after the Bartman incident. |
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Georgia Garvey: It's great to see that teams beside the Cubs don't care about postseason performance. |
3. Besides Northwestern football players, who in Chicago sports should have nap time?
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Mick Swasko: Thibs. Guy always looks like he needs some shuteye. |
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Evil Super Computer: The entire human race. They'll need when they're slaves of the machines. BWAHAHAHA! |
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Soxman: White Sox hitters' nap time lasted all of September. YAWN -- wake me up in April. |
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Brad Zibung: Tom Thibodeau. It's only the preseason and he already looks frazzled. |
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Georgia Garvey: The White Sox. They seemed to have no problem falling asleep at the end of the season. |
4. How can you tell Joakim Noah's ankle has healed?
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Mick Swasko: It's finally shaved its beard and put on pants. |
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Evil Super Computer: He's not sitting in front of his computer as often. It's insulting, really. |
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Soxman: He's fielding grounders at shortstop for the Yankees. Sorry, Yankees fans, too soon? |
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Brad Zibung: He decided he was well enough to finally walk to his pot dealer on his own power. |
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Georgia Garvey: I want to make a hair joke but can't figure out how. Ankle hair! Hair ankle! Help! |
5. Who is Brody Eldridge?
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Mick Swasko: Some dude who's come out of the woodwork from Kristin Cavallari's "Hills" days? |
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Evil Super Computer: The new Bears tight end. Spoiler alert: He's actually a cyborg. |
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Soxman: I'm not sure, but I heard Evil Super Computer say she likes his Bear tight end. |
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Brad Zibung: Hell if I know. Is "Let me Google that for you" broken or something? |
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Georgia Garvey: Someone with an ACT score in the single digits, I would guess. |