1. Why are the Bulls playing a preseason game in Champaign?
|Phil Thompson: Derrick Rose brings the "pain" part and Carlos Boozer is the "sham."|
|Tracy Swartz: To remind Illinois that it will never, ever get to see another Rose bowl.|
|Alex Quigley: Postgame party at Legends on Green Street. Is that still there? I am old.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Any excuse to go to Kam's. (I'm 45 and mentioned a college bar! Still cool!)|
|Bag Boy: Anything to brighten the spirits of that cornhole.|
2. How will you spend the weekend with no Bears game?
|Phil Thompson: My wife, Tracy, was up past midnight making waiver moves, so I think we'll watch a game or two.|
|Tracy Swartz: I'm Capital-izing on this void by attending the Redskins game. 32 before 32.|
|Alex Quigley: Apple orchard, pumpkin patch ... gonna be cozy, man, thanks for asking.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: I'll reintroduce myself to my wife and our two, or perhaps three, children.|
|Bag Boy: Sleeping, eating and that other thing dudes do.|
3. What prank should the Bears rookies play on the veterans?
|Phil Thompson: The old "hit Cutler in the back of the head, move away, watch him pluck their teeth out with pruning shears" trick.|
|Tracy Swartz: None. I would rather see them outside sweating than "swatting."|
|Alex Quigley: Tell them they've been traded to the Browns.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: The rookies decide to start wearing women's clothing to all road games simply because they like it.|
|Bag Boy: Tell Chris Williams to turn in his playbook. See? That could happen!|
4. What should Dwyane Wade's shoe brand be called?
|Phil Thompson: Forget Wade, how have they not given a shoe deal to Greg Zuerlein, aka Legatron, aka Young GZ!?|
|Tracy Swartz: Unionboy.|
|Alex Quigley: Waders: the world's first thigh-high basketball shoe!|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Sheo by Dwyane.|
|Bag Boy: Divorcee Jams!|
5. Usain Bolt is to soccer as ...
|Phil Thompson: ... Lolo Jones is to bobsledding. I wish I were making this up.|
|Tracy Swartz: ... Rahm Emanuel is to the "Chicago Fire." Everyone deserves a shot?|
|Alex Quigley: ... Doug E. Doug is to bobsledding.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... 45-year-old guys are to college bars.|
|Bag Boy: ... Pele is to track and field.|