1. Why are the Bulls playing a preseason game in Champaign?
Phil Thompson: Derrick Rose brings the "pain" part and Carlos Boozer is the "sham."
Tracy Swartz: To remind Illinois that it will never, ever get to see another Rose bowl.
Alex Quigley: Postgame party at Legends on Green Street. Is that still there? I am old.
Jimmy Greenfield: Any excuse to go to Kam's. (I'm 45 and mentioned a college bar! Still cool!)
Bag Boy: Anything to brighten the spirits of that cornhole.
2. How will you spend the weekend with no Bears game?
Phil Thompson: My wife, Tracy, was up past midnight making waiver moves, so I think we'll watch a game or two.
Tracy Swartz: I'm Capital-izing on this void by attending the Redskins game. 32 before 32.
Alex Quigley: Apple orchard, pumpkin patch ... gonna be cozy, man, thanks for asking.
Jimmy Greenfield: I'll reintroduce myself to my wife and our two, or perhaps three, children.
Bag Boy: Sleeping, eating and that other thing dudes do.
3. What prank should the Bears rookies play on the veterans?
Phil Thompson: The old "hit Cutler in the back of the head, move away, watch him pluck their teeth out with pruning shears" trick.
Tracy Swartz: None. I would rather see them outside sweating than "swatting."
Alex Quigley: Tell them they've been traded to the Browns.
Jimmy Greenfield: The rookies decide to start wearing women's clothing to all road games simply because they like it.
Bag Boy: Tell Chris Williams to turn in his playbook. See? That could happen!
4. What should Dwyane Wade's shoe brand be called?
Phil Thompson: Forget Wade, how have they not given a shoe deal to Greg Zuerlein, aka Legatron, aka Young GZ!?
Tracy Swartz: Unionboy.
Alex Quigley: Waders: the world's first thigh-high basketball shoe!
Jimmy Greenfield: Sheo by Dwyane.
Bag Boy: Divorcee Jams!
5. Usain Bolt is to soccer as ...
Phil Thompson: ... Lolo Jones is to bobsledding. I wish I were making this up.
Tracy Swartz: ... Rahm Emanuel is to the "Chicago Fire." Everyone deserves a shot?
Alex Quigley: ... Doug E. Doug is to bobsledding.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... 45-year-old guys are to college bars.
Bag Boy: ... Pele is to track and field.