Victor Cruz

If you're a fan of football AND salsa dancing, then Thursday's Bears game, featuring Giants receiver Victor Cruz, is the perfect storm. (US Presswire / September 15, 2013)

Oh, how far away 2011 feels. As RedEye's sole Giants fan, it's been a long, lonely season for me already. The Giants have gone a miserable 0-5, and I'm beginning to fear this may be the year coach Tom Coughlin's head actually explodes.

The Bears have stumbled the past two weeks as well, making Thursday's matchup the opposite of must-see football. It's all we've got though, kiddos, so let's make the most of this NFL lint ball. Here are four reasons to tune in that have very little to do with, well, actual football.

1. Frustration faces

Who wore the pout better: Jay Cutler or Eli Manning? Both have patented frowny faces—Eli's is a "Who me?" post-interception chasm of bewilderment, while Cutler's … well, you know Cutler's. Because we're likely to see more interceptions and turnovers this week, we may as well have some fun with our Sulky McSulkersons.

2. DMK Burger Bar at Soldier Field

OK, this only works if you have tickets to the game, but hear me out. As a huge advocate for better stadium food and beer, this is a biggie: Lincoln Park's DMK Burger Bar this season has an outpost on the mezzanine level of Soldier Field, serving an edited menu of the restaurant's signature burgers. Bonus: Two Brothers, Lagunitas and other craft beers on tap there are an improvement over the standard concession choices.

3. Victor Cruz's salsa dance

Of course, this one is entirely dependent on the Giants scoring a touchdown, but hey, a girl can dream. Seriously, this little hip shimmy has been 85 percent of my motivation for suffering through our recent games. I know everyone was worked up about David Wilson's double backflip, but Cruz, you'll forever be my favorite.

4. It's a Thursday night

Do you have other awesome plans? Then you're much cooler than I am. There are no other games to conflict with, no "Walking Dead" to distract you, so you may as well get comfy on the couch, order some pizza and tune in. Hey, who knows, both teams might even get it together in Week 6 and make this a great ballgame. If not, at least you'll have that pizza.

kbernot@tribune.com | @kbernot

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