Sports

Takin' it to the Maddux

Let the Joe Girardi talk begin. Good luck. First off, you're not going to get him, Theo Epstein. The Yankees are going to beat you to him, sorry.

I love Epstein's optimism. He says the perception around the league is the Cubs are coming, and coming fast. Oh yeah. Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo leading the way. Oh, good experience for these guys. They're not even 24 yet and already they've gotten a manager fired.

Don't blame me. I begged for Girardi in 2006. Nope. We just had to go with Lou Piniella. That's OK. The senior moment press conferences were worth it.

My guess is Mike Maddux. Welcome to the loony bin and a bunch of kids, Mike. Call your brother Greg for advice. He'll tell you to run, not walk, out of there as fast as you can.

Another circus is in town this weekend. Ohio State and the ESPN "GameDay" crew are in Evanston! Everyone is making signs. I know what mine is. It's going to say: "I once went to an Ohio State-Northwestern game in 1980 and Ohio State won 63-0. I'd like my money back."

I love the atmosphere, but this is not a great series. This feels like a "tailgate only" game where I won't be making it into the game. That's OK. The party is outside, folks.

Sunday football. Um, I love Phil Emery and what he's done, but Shea McLellin is a big fat bust. I mean worthless, and I'm being nice. Too darn small to play defensive line, and not a linebacker. Phil, keep this up, and you'll be the smartest guy in the room—but the room will be a broom closet.

But hey, let's celebrate. The Blackhawks are back! This week reminds me that we played only half a season last year! And really, that's all we need! So please, get started without me. I'll start watching in January when football ends. And the Bulls begin their preseason Saturday!

In keeping with tradition, Derrick Rose isn't expected to play!

I'm kidding. This is the year he comes back and everyone else breaks down.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • Mark Prior on dominating Braves in 2003 playoffs
    Mark Prior on dominating Braves in 2003 playoffs

    On Oct. 3, 2003, with the Cubs and Atlanta tied at one game apiece in their divisional playoff series, Mark Prior took the mound at Wrigley Field against future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux and produced one of the great pitching performances in Cubs history: 9 innings, 2 hits, 1 run, 7 strikeouts....

  • Cubs have one choice: Girardi
    Cubs have one choice: Girardi

    He's got four World Series rings, roots in the Chicago area and experience navigating the allegedly haunted halls of Wrigley Field.

  • 'Furious 7': At this point, you know, whatever
    'Furious 7': At this point, you know, whatever

    Muscular, perpetually mumbling bowling pin Dominic Toretto (Human Aggro Crag Vin Diesel) doesn’t just prefer Corona, the beach-branded standard of Mexican beer-flavored water. He won’t even consider trying a Belgian Trappist ale, widely regarded as being among the world’s...

  • '5 to 7' is hot and bothered
    '5 to 7' is hot and bothered

    Not long after hordes of viewers hungry for some good, clean (dirty) spanking action flocked to “Fifty Shades of Grey,” a smaller, better movie comes along that actually contains, you know, passion between its characters.

  • 'While We're Young' is hilariously wise
    'While We're Young' is hilariously wise

    That’s so old-fashioned, Cornelia (Naomi Watts) remarks warmly when 20-somethings Jamie (Adam Driver) and Darby (Amanda Seyfried) say that they’re married. Then they add that their wedding took place in a water tower to the sounds of a mariachi band. And there was a slip...

  • Where do Emanuel, Garcia stand on the issues?
    Where do Emanuel, Garcia stand on the issues?

    Chicago's April 7 runoff election is looming, and there are plenty of people undecided about whether they'll hand Mayor Rahm Emanuel another term or go with the new guy—Cook County Commissioner Jesus "Chuy" Garcia. So we've rounded up the top issues and where the candidates stand to...

  • McDonald's raising its minimum wage, but some say it's not enough
    McDonald's raising its minimum wage, but some say it's not enough

    McDonald's plans to raise starting wages by $1 above the local minimum at select restaurants, just one of the changes on tap as the world's largest fast-food chain tries to win back customers and fend off a union-backed effort to raise pay throughout the industry.

  • Teen who got controversial heart transplant dies in crash during police chase
    Teen who got controversial heart transplant dies in crash during police chase

    An Atlanta area teenager who said a heart transplant two years ago gave him a second chance at life died this week when he lost control of the car he was driving while fleeing police, according to police records.

Comments
Loading