Sports
Sports

Takin' it to the Maddux

Let the Joe Girardi talk begin. Good luck. First off, you're not going to get him, Theo Epstein. The Yankees are going to beat you to him, sorry.

I love Epstein's optimism. He says the perception around the league is the Cubs are coming, and coming fast. Oh yeah. Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo leading the way. Oh, good experience for these guys. They're not even 24 yet and already they've gotten a manager fired.

Don't blame me. I begged for Girardi in 2006. Nope. We just had to go with Lou Piniella. That's OK. The senior moment press conferences were worth it.

My guess is Mike Maddux. Welcome to the loony bin and a bunch of kids, Mike. Call your brother Greg for advice. He'll tell you to run, not walk, out of there as fast as you can.

Another circus is in town this weekend. Ohio State and the ESPN "GameDay" crew are in Evanston! Everyone is making signs. I know what mine is. It's going to say: "I once went to an Ohio State-Northwestern game in 1980 and Ohio State won 63-0. I'd like my money back."

I love the atmosphere, but this is not a great series. This feels like a "tailgate only" game where I won't be making it into the game. That's OK. The party is outside, folks.

Sunday football. Um, I love Phil Emery and what he's done, but Shea McLellin is a big fat bust. I mean worthless, and I'm being nice. Too darn small to play defensive line, and not a linebacker. Phil, keep this up, and you'll be the smartest guy in the room—but the room will be a broom closet.

But hey, let's celebrate. The Blackhawks are back! This week reminds me that we played only half a season last year! And really, that's all we need! So please, get started without me. I'll start watching in January when football ends. And the Bulls begin their preseason Saturday!

In keeping with tradition, Derrick Rose isn't expected to play!

I'm kidding. This is the year he comes back and everyone else breaks down.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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