Mercifully, the 2013 baseball season in Chicago will be over in about 120 hours. With the White Sox and Cubs about to finish dead last in their respective divisions, no one blames you if you stopped paying attention after Opening Day.
But before you completely immerse yourself in fall sports, RedEye contributors Julie DiCaro and Soxman show you why this season was so forgettable, and why 2014 can't get here soon enough.
CUBS: JUST FORGET IT
While the blown saves were instantaneous, the emotional damage will last a lifetime. Even though Carlos is with the L.A. Dodgers now, Cubs fans may need to seek counseling or group therapy to get over the trauma he inflicted. Remember: There's no shame in asking for help.
Late-night Twitter rants
If there's one team that needs a stricter social media policy, it's the Cubs. If you're one of the many caught in the late-night crossfire of Ian Stewart complaining about his job, Matt Garza espousing his view of sexual politics or Dave Sappelt making fun of female drivers, forget it. We'll never see any of them in Cubbie Blue again.
Yes, he was a decent placeholder for the Cubs these past two seasons. But praise lavished on the journeyman outfielder would make you think DeJesus had a Hall of Fame career at Wrigley. Alert: He plays for another team now. The tears and multiple standing ovations were nice, but it's time to be done.
CUBS: WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR
While the Cubs continue to search for the elusive "ace" of the staff (are you listening, Jeff Samardzija and Edwin Jackson?), a number of young pitchers, led by Jake Arrieta and Chris Rusin, are making their case for a spot in the starting rotation in 2014.
I'd like to see Wrigley renovated to a much greater extent than is planned, but there's no denying the planned video board in left field has the potential to bring in an enormous amount of revenue, thereby substantially increasing the Cubs payroll. Let's all hope the Cubs manage to get that thing erected yesterday.
I know this is not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. While the Cubs figure to be better in 2014 (it would take real effort to be worse), 2015 and 2016 look to be when many of the promising Cubs prospects will start to have an impact at the major league level. Until then, just stay alive. We will find you.
Julie DiCaro is a RedEye special contributor. @juliedicaro
SOX: JUST FORGET IT
A.J. Pierzynski's exit
First, it doesn't take a Vegas whale to tell you the Sox didn't Free Willy when they let A.J. Pierzynski walk last year. Some gambles just don't pay off. Tyler Flowers never bloomed and despite the outbreak of Josh Phegley fever upon his arrival, temperatures have cooled, along with his batting average. While Phegley can likely become a serviceable catcher, the energy and consistency Pierzynski brought to the park were greatly missed.
Adam Dunn and errors
For most of the year I've had a hard time determining what looks more bloated: Adam Dunn's salary, the number of errors the Sox have committed or Batboy after an all-you-can-eat fried chicken buffet. Remember, the homage to the 1983 White Sox was supposed to be called WINNING Ugly.
Absolutely nothing is worse than finishing last, not even being swept by the Cubs (sorry, Julie). OK, there could be ONE thing worse: finishing last AND being the Cubs.
SOX: WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR
The rotation going forward looks pretty darn good. The lefty brigade of Chris Sale, John Danks, Hector Santiago and Jose Quintana should get better under the mentoring of Don Cooper. They are also under control at a cost more reasonable than the price of beverages peddled by that vendor who screams "I'vvvve got beeeeeeer" at home games (admit it, you love him).
History could repeat itself. In 2012, the Boston Red Sox finished with the worst record in the majors. They dumped some contracts, tweaked their roster a bit and now are on their way to the postseason.
A season like this may test a fan's allegiance and dedication. Come spring, you know where I'll be and who I'll be cheering for. I'm not the type of guy who throws my favorite pair of socks away because they have a few holes in them.
Soxman is a RedEye special contributor. @thesoxman72