Sports

The Bears have perfect buts

Abracadabra, the Bears are 3-0.

If the season ended today, the Bears would be in a three-way tie with New Orleans and Seattle for home-field advantage in the NFC. Congratulations. Of course, NFL seasons don't typically end after three weeks. And it's very difficult to split a home field three ways.

Still, Bears fans should be cautiously optimistic. This is a team that has demonstrated, three times, a technical ability to win a football game against another football team.

Buuuuuut. But. But the first two of those wins were by a combined four points, and the "convincing" Week 3 victory over Pittsburgh wasn't truly over until Julius Peppers ran a fumble back for a touchdown on one of those "la la la oh look I have the ball now" gift-wrapped turnover plays that football fairy godmothers sometimes send a team's way.

But the Bears' opponents thus far have combined for a record of 2-7, including Minnesota's loss to the Cleveland Browns, whom some people are saying might be TRYING to lose games. But defensive mainstay Henry Melton just tore his ACL in a contract year, which is the saddest news since Kelvin Hayden. But. The Bears are 3-0, but they've been a lucky 3-0. But but but but but.

But also: the teams on the Bears' remaining schedule are a combined 16-23 right now. But the only currently undefeated team they'll face all year is the Saints, who only managed to eke out a two-point victory against woeful Tampa Bay. But the Bears are in a division full of beatable, flawed teams. But their non-division schedule consists of the NFC East and AFC North, two of the shakier divisions in the league.

But the Bears could absolutely go on a luck-fueled run the likes of which we haven't seen since Mike Brown caught all those interceptions and dragged Dick Jauron to a 13-3 record. But home-field advantage can make a difference in Chicago because it's no fun to play the Bears at Soldier Field in January, even if they're starting Caleb Hanie. BUT. But but but.

The Bears are a perfect 3-0 right now. Sure, there are a lot of "buts" attached. At least this team, for now, has perfect buts. You can get pretty far with a perfect but.

RedEye special contributor Ben Johnson is a comedian at iO Theater in Chicago. @itisbenjo

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Copyright © 2015, RedEye
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