1. The NFL playoff picture is so cloudy ...
|Matt Pais: ... the race to lose in the first round has never been tighter.|
|Jay St. Pierre: ... *still trying to think of something clever to say here* ... move on to the next person.|
|Jane Monzures: ... like Chicago weather give it five minutes and it will change.|
|Kat Velez: ... even the Bears still have a chance to make the playoffs.|
|Michael Walton II: ... that it is hiding the fact that the Bulls are tanking.|
2. What should the Bears send Justin Tucker for hitting that 61-yard field goal?
|Matt Pais: A Victoria's Secret model to try to kick him that far. Bet the under.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Bottle of the finest liquor they can find. Or something else with a little "kick" ... HA, kicker pun!|
|Jane Monzures: The hosting gig for the 1985 Honey Bears "where are they now" TV show and a stuffed Staley Bear.|
|Kat Velez: A Christmas ham. Or a box of Omaha steaks.|
|Michael Walton II: They should send him a pick in the 2014 NBA Draft. It's loaded with talent.|
3. If Aaron Rodgers returns before the end of the season, what's that mean for the Bears?
|Matt Pais: Doom! Doom, I say! Or just legitimate competition.|
|Jay St. Pierre: More State Farm/Da Coach "Discount Daaaaaaaable Check" commercials.|
|Jane Monzures: That Packers fans will get even more annoying!|
|Kat Velez: It means we can hate our Packers-loving friends once a week without a twinge of guilt.|
|Michael Walton II: That it's a good thing the Bears wide receivers' health isn't tied to Aaron Rodgers' health.|
4. What's the best move the Cubs or Sox have made this offseason?
|Matt Pais: Who? Talk to me about baseball when it's not 5 below.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Weeelllll, they haven't lost. That should count for something considering they combined for 195 of them last season.|
|Jane Monzures: To have an off season.|
|Kat Velez: They're all terrible moves until proven otherwise. I know how this goes, Chicago baseball.|
|Michael Walton II: Tanking in general. It's the best strategy these days.|
5. Why was Paul McCartney trying to catch a T-shirt at a Sixers game?
|Matt Pais: Re-enacting the little-known Beatles hit, "I'm Your T-Shirt, Can You Bring Me My Pants?"|
|Jay St. Pierre: As the Ragin' Cajun, I feel like it's my duty to point out that technically it was a Nets game (they played the 76ers at home).|
|Jane Monzures: To prove to us that he can catch no matter what the kids in the schoolyard used to say.|
|Kat Velez: Just because someone has more money than God doesn't mean he can't want a free T-shirt.|
|Michael Walton II: He was just trying to get attention so he could voice his opinion on who the 76ers should draft.|