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Ice Cube, the Bears and obscenities

I watched the Bears 2013 season opener at a friend's apartment, and while we squirmed as Cincinnati jumped out 21-10, we at least had the comfort of not being a Lions fan. There was one in the room, watching the Lions on a laptop in his own little corner, and his agony comforted us.

Bad things were happening everywhere—Peanut Tillman getting a pick-six called back, Andy Dalton and A.J. Green performing their own personal air show—but it was nothing compared to this poor guy from Detroit.

Every so often he'd shout, "Yes! Yes!" and then he'd pause, and then grimace, and then start groaning, "No! NO! NOOOOOO!" He would sigh and grumble and scream creative obscenities unfit for publication.

The rest of the people in the apartment were Bears fans, and we spent much of the afternoon pitying him, saying things like, "That game has been one long fumble," and "I love the Lions so much! They're like the Three Stooges, only there's 11 of them."

Watching a Lions fan watch the Lions while you watch the Bears is like playing Ice Cube's "Today Was A Good Day" when you're having a bad day. "See," you think to yourself, "I could be dealing with THIS."

But it all turned around for our beloved Bears. Robbie Gould hit a franchise record 58-yard field goal. Our Pro Bowl corners forced three (nearly four) turnovers. Brandon Marshall outgained and outscored A.J. Green in the second half. Jay Cutler played an entire Bears game without getting sacked, an amazing feat, considering it was his 57th Bears game and he's been sacked in 51 of them.

To top it off, Matt Forte punched in a 1-yard touchdown for the second straight game (including last year's finale) after going 46 straight games without one.

In the end, the Bears won 24-21, their fourth straight opening-day victory. And over in his corner, life improved for the Lions fan too, as Detroit beat Minnesota by 10.

Meanwhile, the Packers lost. Like Cube said, I'd have to say it was a good day. 

Jack M Silverstein is a RedEye special contributor. @ReadJack

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