1. How are you feeling heading into Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final?
Marc Silverman: Saturday's loss really stuck in my Craw(ford), but today I feel Sharp.
Pete McMurray: I have an appointment this morning with my cardiologist. This will be a long long series with LOTS of stress.
Ernest Wilkins: Stressed. Like, farting anxiously stressed.
Elliott Serrano: Like I did on my first-ever date with a girl: nervous, sweaty and just a bit queasy.
Sarah Spain: Two words: adult diaper.
2. With the Stanley Cup Final shifting to Boston ...
Marc Silverman: ... I'll be shifting to a new cable service if the broadcast goes dark again.
Pete McMurray: See above answer, but add nitroglycerin to the mix.
Ernest Wilkins: I worry that there's going to be a lot of tired, hung-over Chicagoans this week ...
Elliott Serrano: ... we can finally figure out which city has the funniest accent.
Sarah Spain: ... get ready for every a-hole you know to do the "pahk the cah in Hahvahd yahd" bit.
3. Patrick Kane says he used the Miami Heat as inspiration. What does he mean?
Marc Silverman: Ahhhhhhh, that explains it. No wonder Kaner has flopped in many playoff games this year.
Pete McMurray: Think of hot women in South Beach to get out of a slump.
Ernest Wilkins: He means that we're two months away from "The Decision 2: Decision Harder."
Elliott Serrano: That he's gonna start playing when he feels like it, like LeBron does?
Sarah Spain: He borrowed Dwyane Wade's capri pants for game-day arrivals.
4. What does Jonathan Toews get for winning the Selke Trophy?
Marc Silverman: Ummmm, I believe that would be the Selke Trophy. No?
Pete McMurray: A trip to Toronto and a bowl of soup.
Ernest Wilkins: An annotated letter describing who exactly Selke is?
Elliott Serrano: It's not the Stanley Cup, so I guess he got a paperweight.
Sarah Spain: Calls of congrats from other great two-way players like David Bowie and Ani DiFranco.
5. What will Ian Stewart do while serving his 10-game tweeting suspension?
Marc Silverman: Whatever it is, he'll continue to suck doing it.
Pete McMurray: 10 games without pay. Get used to it, because that's what it feels like when you're out of baseball, pal!
Ernest Wilkins: Relearn how to hit/field/tweet, maybe?
Elliott Serrano: I hear he's got a new Theo Epstein parody account running: @CrankyCubsBoss.
Sarah Spain: Work on his swing, hopefully.