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Beat L.A.!

1. Name one thing that hasn't gone right for the Hawks in this series.
Clark Jones: Coach Q still dresses like he's head of a pyramid scheme, but other than that ...
Frank Holland: I believe someone ordered pepperoni pizza and got sausage instead.
Scott Bolohan: When they asked for decaf and got four goals instead.
John Dooley: Dustin Brown unable to give us his full-smirky-douchey smile like normal.
Stanley's Cup: Bryan Bickell hasn't lost any more teeth.
2. What is L.A. Kings goalie Jonathan Quick thinking right now?
Clark Jones: "Oh, God ... I ate the bones!"
Frank Holland: "I think I can, I think I can ..."
Scott Bolohan: "Whoa, I swore it was 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
John Dooley: "Da duh duh, da duh duh, dadadadadaduh ... MAKE IT STOP!!!"
Stanley's Cup: "Didn't I used to be good?"
3. How can the White Sox get back on track?
Clark Jones: If the city's handling renovations, it may be awhile before they're back on track.
Frank Holland: Hmmm ... hit and pitch better? Just sayin'.
Scott Bolohan: It all starts with a healthy breakfast.
John Dooley: Take extra grease from fan base's hair and use it as lubricant for new pitches!
Stanley's Cup: Watch the Hawks. Take notes.
4. Why are the Cubs going to the West Coast for only two games?
Clark Jones: The sun rises in the east, and the Cubs get swept in the west.
Frank Holland: It's better than going south for the whole season.
Scott Bolohan: The scheduler was unsure where the Angels are located.
John Dooley: Dale Sveum's allergies prevent a longer trip. He's allergic to anything dubbed "exciting."
Stanley's Cup: California doesn't want to watch their sad show either.
5. Congratulate the Sky on starting the WNBA season 3-0.
Clark Jones: Congratulations, Sky! One victory per attendee!
Frank Holland: Ladies! Sky is the limit! (I know that's corny.)
Scott Bolohan: That's so cool since it's also their attendance range.
John Dooley: Congratulations! Your reward is more games at the Allstate Arena!
Stanley's Cup: Way to go! So that's where all the Sox fans are.
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