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redeyechicago.com

Whew!

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. The Hawks are off to L.A. Give them a piece of advice.
Marc Silverman: Win.
Pete McMurray: Don't stay at Mike Richards' house. I don't think you're welcome.
Ernest Wilkins: Don't stress, do your best, and get your fries Animal-style.
Elliott Serrano: No limo rides with Lindsay Lohan!
Sarah Spain: Take Fountain. (Google it, youngsters.)
2. Hockey in L.A. is like ...
Marc Silverman: ... coaching basketball in L.A. Nobody really knows what's going on.
Pete McMurray: ... watching my wife's shows. Only when I have to.
Ernest Wilkins: ... putting chips in your sandwich. Weird, but it definitely works.
Elliott Serrano: ... training wheels on a submarine. Makes no sense.
Sarah Spain: ... a well-made toupee—most people don't even know it's there.
3. What is an advantage to playing Games 1 and 2 on consecutive nights?
Marc Silverman: None. It was a miscommunication. We said, "You gotta beat Quick," not "You gotta be quick."
Pete McMurray: Mick Jagger can rest and be ready for TONIGHT!
Ernest Wilkins: Maximum stamina is key. There's a sex joke in there somewhere.
Elliott Serrano: No time for limo rides with Lindsay Lohan.
Sarah Spain: Super-fun team sleepover at the UC. Kane built a fort!
4. What happened to the Cubs' win streak?
Marc Silverman: Too much weekend partying with the BP Cup.
Pete McMurray: Two words: Re. Building. Two more: We. Stink.
Ernest Wilkins: The Cubs did.
Elliott Serrano: It went for a limo ride with Lindsay Lohan and was never seen again.
Sarah Spain: It got Marmol'd.
5. Heat-Pacers goes to Game 7. Who ya got?
Marc Silverman: I got one flop by Lebron. Two cheap shots by Birdman. No. 3 DWade whines all night. Heat by seven.
Pete McMurray: Don't go against the King. (See two of King Henry VlII's wives.)
Ernest Wilkins: Pacers. No schlomo.
Elliott Serrano: LeBron ... in a limo with LiLo.
Sarah Spain: Even if he has to ref it himself, Stern will get the Heat to the Finals.