1. Give fans a reason to watch the Crosstown Classic.
Angi Taylor: Alex Rios. Baseball pants. Boom.
Pete McMurray: Derrick Rose could play. He hasn't been ruled out.
Scott Bolohan: C.B. Bucknor's mastery of the third-base umpire position.
Elliott Serrano: I'm not gonna lie. I'll be too busy watching "Arrested Development" on Netflix.
Clark Jones: Nothing better than a fight on the Red Line ... Oh, you meant baseball?
2. Why does Adam Dunn expect a "playoff atmosphere" for the Crosstown Classic?
Angi Taylor: He does know its Cubs/Sox, right?
Pete McMurray: Derrick Rose could play. He hasn't been ruled out.
Scott Bolohan: The presence of oxygen.
Elliott Serrano: Insert Jim Mora "playoffs?" sound bite here.
Clark Jones: Because many of the Cubs players will have no idea what it feels like.
3. What was Mike Ditka thinking when the Bears decided to retire his number?
Angi Taylor: "I wonder if I can finally get a table at Ditka's now."
Pete McMurray: "Huh? I have to go to Soldier Field? That's bull[bleep]! Is Derrick Rose playing?"
Scott Bolohan: "Quantum gravity falls apart due to its reliance on untestable predictions."
Elliott Serrano: "How do I name a menu item after this?"
Clark Jones: "I wonder what Ricky Williams and that dress are up to."
4. Now that the Chicago Sky's season is underway ...
Angi Taylor: ... I can totally not go to any games again!
Pete McMurray: ... Derrick Rose COULD play. He hasn't been ruled out.
Scott Bolohan: ... Derrick Rose is ready to go!
Elliott Serrano: ... we answer the annual token WNBA question in 5 on 5.
Clark Jones: We can look forward to the ever popular "invisible fan" night.
5. What should we expect to see during the French Open?
Angi Taylor: Djokovic Serbian domination!
Pete McMurray: Again ... I'm holding out hope! Derrick Rose COULD play. He hasn't been ruled out.
Scott Bolohan: Tennis? Or golf. It's probably one of those.
Elliott Serrano: Michael Bluth is gonna find money in a banana stand.
Clark Jones: Serena Williams dancing to that one Kanye song. What's it called? Something about Paris.