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LeBron stops crying for once

Ever since LeBron James chose Miami over the Bulls in summer 2010, he's been known as a crybaby in Chicago. He wants calls from the refs. He doesn't like physical play. He can't stand airline food.

All right, guessing about that last one. But we're certain that the Bulls get under his skin, and even when he's celebrating, he's more Lovie Smith-stoic than Carlos Boozer-excitable. Here's how Game 2 unfolded, according to James' mood.

 

FIRST QUARTER

Whiny: Dwyane Wade misses a dunk after going around Marco Belinelli. Clearly that was a foul on the rim.

Tantrum: Joakim Noah takes a feed and hammers home the two-hand dunk. James does not like it when Noah succeeds.

Stoic: James beats the Bulls D downcourt and is rewarded with an easy layup. Yay.

Whiny: Jimmy Butler, the Bulls' iron man, drains a 3-pointer to put the Bulls up 15-12.

Stoic: James stuffs home an alley oop; he's 3-for-3 with six points at this juncture.

Stoic: James goes coast to coast for the jam after a steal. Now he's 4-for-4.

Tantrum: James stiff-arms Butler and gets called for an offensive foul. His momentum carries him into Noah, who tries to restrain James. Then things get testy, ending in technical fouls on both of them.

Stoic: James goes one-on-five for a bucket as time expires. He had 12 points in the quarter. Yeah, he's good. And in a good mood right about now.

Score: Heat 25, Bulls 20

 

SECOND QUARTER

Whiny: Miami's Chris Andersen commits a flagrant foul, shoving Belinelli into the bench. He's lucky Lance Briggs isn't around …

Stoic: … On the same possession, Marquis Teague is called for a technical after he was fouled driving to the hoop. …

Whiny: … Then Daequan Cook bear-hugs James, who has to play peacemaker as Andersen wants to go after Cook. Civility reigns—for now.

Tantrum: James slams the ball to the floor with two hands after Carlos Boozer posts him up for an easy 2. Awww, did Boozer make you wook silly, LeBwon?

Whiny: Butler hits a spectacular reverse layup. And, of course, is fouled. He hits the free throw, and it's 42-38 Miami.

Stoic: On consecutive possessions, James hits a 3 and Wade gets free for tomahawk dunk. All of the sudden the Heat lead 49-38.

Stoic: By the end of the quarter, it's all going the Heat's way, as they're knocking down open shots at will. Ugh.

Score: Heat 55, Bulls 41

 

THIRD QUARTER

Stoic: James finds Wade for an alley-oop dunk to put the Heat ahead 60-41. Not even a high-five.

Whiny: James gets smacked three times on the way to the hoop. He's probably upset he couldn't get three foul calls on one play.

Stoic: Halfway through the quarter, Wade lays it in to give the Heat a 21-point lead. LeBron is beaming ear to ear. On the inside.

Stoic: James claps after Udonis Haslem ties up Cook for a jump ball. He's clapping his hands!

Stoic: James drops a behind-the-back pass in the lane to Ray Allen, who hits it and converts a three-point play. Then he assists on the team's last two baskets of the period. Dude, you can stop showing up now. The outcome is no longer in doubt.

Score: Heat 85, Bulls 56

 

FOURTH QUARTER

Um, yeah, no need to waste words here. It's 1-1, going back to Chicago.

Final score: Heat 115, Bulls 78

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