1. Chicago baseball hasn't been this bad since ...
|Clark Jones: ... man, since, like, six months ago.|
|Evil Super Computer: ... before there were microchips. I refuse to go back.|
|Scott Bolohan: ... Ray Liotta was on the Sox.|
|John Dooley: ... my mom was getting hooked on "Moonlighting." That was '86, youngsters. Bruce Willis. I'll shut up.|
|Angi Taylor: ... last baseball season.|
2. How should the Brewers feel about sweeping the Cubs?
|Clark Jones: Like Kanye should feel about bagging Kim Kardashian. #notthefirst|
|Evil Super Computer: Like I do when I crash someone's computer just for fun. Exhilarated!|
|Scott Bolohan: A little guilty.|
|John Dooley: The same way I should feel about beating my 3-year-old son in whiffle ball.|
|Angi Taylor: You know when you beat your younger sibling in something without trying? They should feel like that.|
3. How bad do the White Sox need John Danks back?
|Clark Jones: I mean, you can never have enough incomplete games, I guess.|
|Evil Super Computer: Uh, is he going to hit for them too? No? Not that bad, then.|
|Scott Bolohan: More than most teams need a pitcher who had a 5.00 ERA last year.|
|John Dooley: They're just dying to get him back so they can NOT give him run support also.|
|Angi Taylor: Bad, real bad, Michael Jackson.|
4. An injured Kobe Bryant tweeted analysis during a Lakers playoff game. Discuss.
|Clark Jones: Oh, so that's what he meant by "post, post, post." I thought he just didn't know how buttons work.|
|Evil Super Computer: A mere distraction while my world domination plans unfold. MWAHAHAHA!|
|Scott Bolohan: #yolo|
|John Dooley: That's like Shelley Long tweeting about all the Kirstie Alley "Cheers" episodes post-`86. I'll get off `86.|
|Angi Taylor: It's less harsh when it's tweeted instead of being screamed into his teammates' faces.|
5. How can you tell the Hawks are on a Canada road trip?
|Clark Jones: Everybody in the barbershop is talking about it. #sarcasmbutton #post|
|Evil Super Computer: Roberto Luongo is about to sabotage his own team again. Love that guy!|
|Scott Bolohan: The cabdrivers are really, really nice to Patrick Kane.|
|John Dooley: Patrick Kane's limo is bouncin', the girls look mediocre, and everybody's shirts are off.|
|Angi Taylor: Because it says so on my magnet schedule.|