www.redeyechicago.com/sports/ct-red-0423-fives,0,3741064.htmlstory

redeyechicago.com

86'd

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. Chicago baseball hasn't been this bad since ...
Clark Jones: ... man, since, like, six months ago.
Evil Super Computer: ... before there were microchips. I refuse to go back.
Scott Bolohan: ... Ray Liotta was on the Sox.
John Dooley: ... my mom was getting hooked on "Moonlighting." That was '86, youngsters. Bruce Willis. I'll shut up.
Angi Taylor: ... last baseball season.
2. How should the Brewers feel about sweeping the Cubs?
Clark Jones: Like Kanye should feel about bagging Kim Kardashian. #notthefirst
Evil Super Computer: Like I do when I crash someone's computer just for fun. Exhilarated!
Scott Bolohan: A little guilty.
John Dooley: The same way I should feel about beating my 3-year-old son in whiffle ball.
Angi Taylor: You know when you beat your younger sibling in something without trying? They should feel like that.
3. How bad do the White Sox need John Danks back?
Clark Jones: I mean, you can never have enough incomplete games, I guess.
Evil Super Computer: Uh, is he going to hit for them too? No? Not that bad, then.
Scott Bolohan: More than most teams need a pitcher who had a 5.00 ERA last year.
John Dooley: They're just dying to get him back so they can NOT give him run support also.
Angi Taylor: Bad, real bad, Michael Jackson.
4. An injured Kobe Bryant tweeted analysis during a Lakers playoff game. Discuss.
Clark Jones: Oh, so that's what he meant by "post, post, post." I thought he just didn't know how buttons work.
Evil Super Computer: A mere distraction while my world domination plans unfold. MWAHAHAHA!
Scott Bolohan: #yolo
John Dooley: That's like Shelley Long tweeting about all the Kirstie Alley "Cheers" episodes post-`86. I'll get off `86.
Angi Taylor: It's less harsh when it's tweeted instead of being screamed into his teammates' faces.
5. How can you tell the Hawks are on a Canada road trip?
Clark Jones: Everybody in the barbershop is talking about it. #sarcasmbutton #post
Evil Super Computer: Roberto Luongo is about to sabotage his own team again. Love that guy!
Scott Bolohan: The cabdrivers are really, really nice to Patrick Kane.
John Dooley: Patrick Kane's limo is bouncin', the girls look mediocre, and everybody's shirts are off.
Angi Taylor: Because it says so on my magnet schedule.