Sports
Sports

What would Kobe tweet? Bulls-Nets edition

Thanks to an injury, Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) is watching the NBA playoffs from well off the sidelines. So he did what any athlete with a smartphone would do: He angrily live-tweeted the L.A. Lakers' loss to San Antonio in Game 1 on Sunday.

Among his gems: "What I would say if I was there right now? 'Pau get ur ass on the block and don't move till u get it' #realtalk"

On Monday, Bryant tweeted he'd cease that practice from here on out. But RedEye gladly picks up where the Black Mamba left off. Presenting: What would Kobe Bryant tweet, Bulls-Nets edition.

 

FIRST QUARTER

12:00: Got my Joakim Noah jersey on. starting even tho he's hurt. watch and learn, pau gasol!

11:03: Hold up, fans actually show up ON TIME in Brooklyn? Must be crappy weather in NY. That's why I luv LA.

9:03: Wooh! Noah's jumper is just as smooth as mine. #notreally

8:58: Booooooriiiiiing. Come on refs it cant be that complicated a foul call.

8:34: Two points for Brook Lopez … on that takedown. He's moppin the flo w/ Kirk Hinrich. #earthweek

7:00: Damn Boozer's jumper goes higher than fans at a Snoop Dogg concert lol. Fadeaway's not half bad tho. Mine's still better.

2:00: BOOMSHAKALAKA. b11 making the bulls PAY with that dunk.

0:00: 37 combined points in the first quarter? That's barely a quarter for me. #notkidding #alsonothumble

Score: Bulls 20, Nets 17

 

SECOND QUARTER

10:32: Mr. Ex Kardashian is in the game! Congrats on the settlement. #goodriddance

9:56: Luol Deng's wrist is hurt but he still finishes strong on the break like my boy steve nash. Man I wish I were playing.

8:51: That old guy heckling the Bulls' free throws actually works! Too bad Boozer tipped in the second miss.

5:14: Bulls need a TO. Buncha guys in foul trouble but they still lead. Go figure.

4:13: Post. Post. Post. The Bulls need a bucket but won't listen to me, while b11 eats them alive inside.

2:48: That's my boy @nate_robinson. Shoot first, apologize later. Nah, j/k. No apologies.

1:22: Y'all see that dunk by deng? Even better pass from @joakimnoah. #yourmovedwighthoward

0:00: STONE COLD 3 by C.J. Watson! Reminds me of me.

0:00: Halftime! plz tell me beyonce's doin the show. Hell I'll take blue ivy. When the sexy nurse coming to wash my ass?

Score: Bulls 47, Nets 46

 

THIRD QUARTER

10:10: Sweet 3 by hinrich. just a slap in the face to the d.

9:55: Noah just busted up b11 goin to the lane… hey where did @drose get that powder blue suit? Is that a real gold tie? ha!

8:00: Foul fest foul fest foul fest.

7:02: Hey hinrich you are a GUARD. You cant be shooting 0 for 3 from the ft line. Bench em Thibs.

6:15: Nazy Mohammed sighting. That dude is almost as old as I am. #aginggracefully

5:13: Luv @stacey21king calling these gms. I'm on the Booze Cruise! Though I prefer the Bryant Bus.

2:45: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! That's my Jimmy Butler impression after that strong flush. Waddya think?

Score: Bulls 69, Nets 57

 

FOURTH QUARTER

11:34: I told y'all matador d doesn't work. Belinelli looked like the Flash on that drive.

9:38: Nate Robinson vs. hardwood. Hardwood wins every time. #thatsgonnahurttomorrow

7:32: Damn Robinson almost took that coach's head off with that pass. Borrow hinrich's goggles next time.

6:16: Boom! Noah slams it. This game has a "steal one" written all over it for us. I mean, for the bulls. Must be the painkillers tweeting.

4:11: Joe Johnson is the new frontrunner for the kobe award. #makinitrain

2:48: So THAT'S why the Bulls wouldn't trade Deng for me. Clutch. Oh so clutch.

0:00: Post. Post. Post. Noah. Boozer Deng. Can't. Be. Stopped. Why. Am I tweeting. In threes?

0:00: To tweet or not to tweet.. I CHOOSE not 2. Series tied going back to Chicago. My work is done here, Bulls fans. #dropsmic

Final score: Bulls 90, Nets 82

Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • D-Rose's Summer Vacation

    D-Rose's Summer Vacation

    It's just a matter of weeks before Derrick Rose, who's feeling 100 percent, is playing for the Bulls again. In the meantime, he's chillin' in Asia and Europe, putting on clinics, laughin' it up and saying hi to kids. Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page. 

  • Chicago sues red light camera firm for $300 million

    Chicago sues red light camera firm for $300 million

    Mayor Rahm Emanuel's administration has sued Chicago's former red light camera operator, Redflex Traffic Systems, for more than $300 million on grounds the entire program was built on a $2 million bribery scheme at City Hall that has already led to federal corruption convictions.

  • Marrow's 'The Gold Standard' raises the Chicago rock bar

    Marrow's 'The Gold Standard' raises the Chicago rock bar

    The four musicians in Marrow know quite a bit about bringing diverse influences to the table. After all, three of them, singer-guitarist Liam Kazar, singer-keyboardist Macie Stewart and bassist Lane Beckstrom were in Kids These Days, a now-defunct septet that combined jazz, funk, rap and rock in...

  • The Kids These Days family tree

    The Kids These Days family tree

    From its 2009 beginnings to its 2013 demise, Chicago's Kids These Days seemed like one of the most promising acts the city had seen in years. While the band split up at the height of its hype, its members have since gone on to do bigger and better things—seriously impressive considering the hip-hop/rock/jazz...

  • Solid 'Gold': How ex-Kids These Days members came back stronger as Marrow

    Solid 'Gold': How ex-Kids These Days members came back stronger as Marrow

    After the dissolution of Kids These Days, the much-buzzed about Chicago fusion-jazz-rock-rap septet that split in spring 2013 just a few months after releasing its only album, “Traphouse Rock,” some of its members spent what seems like all of 20 minutes bandless. "We were driving back from the...

  • Mr Twin Sister's 'In the House of Yes' is one of last year's hidden treasures

    Mr Twin Sister's 'In the House of Yes' is one of last year's hidden treasures

    Welcome to RedEye's "Song of the Day," an ongoing feature where music reporter Josh Terry or another RedEye staff member highlights something they're listening to. Some days the track will be new, and some days it will be old. No matter what, each offering is something you should check out. Check...

  • GrubHub's weekend customer-support issues made people hangry

    GrubHub's weekend customer-support issues made people hangry

    Technical difficulties at GrubHub and Seamless over the weekend drove hordes of hangry would-be customers to air their grievances on social media. The food ordering and delivery sites, which merged in 2013 and use GrubHub’s back-end technology, errantly accepted payments on Saturday evening without...

  • One dead in Heart of Chicago after being shot by police

    One dead in Heart of Chicago after being shot by police

    A 29-year-old man died after being shot by police on the Lower West Side early Saturday, police said.

Comments
Loading
76°