Thanks to an injury, Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) is watching the NBA playoffs from well off the sidelines. So he did what any athlete with a smartphone would do: He angrily live-tweeted the L.A. Lakers' loss to San Antonio in Game 1 on Sunday.
Among his gems: "What I would say if I was there right now? 'Pau get ur ass on the block and don't move till u get it' #realtalk"
On Monday, Bryant tweeted he'd cease that practice from here on out. But RedEye gladly picks up where the Black Mamba left off. Presenting: What would Kobe Bryant tweet, Bulls-Nets edition.
12:00: Got my Joakim Noah jersey on. starting even tho he's hurt. watch and learn, pau gasol!
11:03: Hold up, fans actually show up ON TIME in Brooklyn? Must be crappy weather in NY. That's why I luv LA.
9:03: Wooh! Noah's jumper is just as smooth as mine. #notreally
8:58: Booooooriiiiiing. Come on refs it cant be that complicated a foul call.
8:34: Two points for Brook Lopez … on that takedown. He's moppin the flo w/ Kirk Hinrich. #earthweek
7:00: Damn Boozer's jumper goes higher than fans at a Snoop Dogg concert lol. Fadeaway's not half bad tho. Mine's still better.
2:00: BOOMSHAKALAKA. b11 making the bulls PAY with that dunk.
0:00: 37 combined points in the first quarter? That's barely a quarter for me. #notkidding #alsonothumble
Score: Bulls 20, Nets 17
10:32: Mr. Ex Kardashian is in the game! Congrats on the settlement. #goodriddance
9:56: Luol Deng's wrist is hurt but he still finishes strong on the break like my boy steve nash. Man I wish I were playing.
8:51: That old guy heckling the Bulls' free throws actually works! Too bad Boozer tipped in the second miss.
5:14: Bulls need a TO. Buncha guys in foul trouble but they still lead. Go figure.