1. The Bulls have one game left in the regular season. How are you feeling?
Clark Jones: Like D-Rose's ACL, we're ready, but God knows if we can handle the playoffs.
Pat Tomasulo: Woke up with a little sniffle but OK now. Thanks for asking.
Scott Bolohan: I've had some pain in my heel lately, probably unrelated to the Bulls.
John Dooley: I feel 100 percent. But not 100 percent. Good enough to play ... but not.
Stick Figure: Really hungry, as usual. I wonder why that is ...
2. How will the Cubs greet A.J. Pierzynski when they play Texas on Tuesday?
Clark Jones: Remember how Nolan Ryan greeted Robin Ventura? That'll work.
Pat Tomasulo: Michael Barrett bobblehead night.
Scott Bolohan: With one of those buzzer handshake things. Cubs got jokes.
John Dooley: With a Michael Barrett memorial photo montage and hug fest.
Stick Figure: Using hand signals. You're No. 1 too, A.J.!
3. With Kyuji Fujikawa on the DL, how should the Cubs handle the closer's spot?
Clark Jones: Extend the beer serving hours until the 9th inning ASAP.
Pat Tomasulo: Sign Kyra Sedgwick.
Scott Bolohan: Lose earlier.
John Dooley: By putting the entire closer's role on the DL, too.
Stick Figure: With oven mitts.
4. What should Loyola know about joining the Missouri Valley Conference?
Clark Jones: The Misery Valley Conference was the original name.
Pat Tomasulo: The conference tourney was in St. Louis. Still want to go?
Scott Bolohan: First, Missouri has a valley, which was previously unknown to me.
John Dooley: We do this crazy thing in the MVC ... it's called "attending sporting events."
Stick Figure: Bring a notebook. It's tough to remember all the important details at a conference.
5. When Kobe Bryant returns from his knee injury ...
Clark Jones: ... the Miami Heat will be wrapping up another championship. David Stern already told me.
Pat Tomasulo: ... I'm guessing he'll have to recover from his Achilles injury?
Scott Bolohan: ... Dwight Howard will have gotten three coaches fired.
John Dooley: ... we can expect a limp in his travel.
Stick Figure: ... he should return the crutches to the hospital. It's not nice to steal.