1. Make a sports prediction for April.
|Marc Silverman: April showers—from LeBron's constant crying.|
|Pete McMurray: The Cubs will disappoint me like my Bradley college girlfriend did junior year. We broke up (sniff sniff).|
|Ernest Wilkins: Sox go in hot, get cold. Cubs start cold, stay there.|
|Elliott Serrano: Blackhawks fans will be buying lots of antacids and anti-anxiety meds.|
|Sarah Spain: I will not be wearing jorts and a Cubs half-shirt to the home opener.|
2. How can you tell baseball season is here?
|Marc Silverman: "Hawk fights" have nothing to do with the Blackhawks. Beware, Stoney.|
|Pete McMurray: The Cubs shirts already are on the sale rack.|
|Ernest Wilkins: I'm drinking, aren't I?|
|Elliott Serrano: Cubs fans can sense the smell of hopeless resignation in the air.|
|Sarah Spain: Literally dozens of people are rushing to The Cell for Opening Day.|
3. What will you consider a successful Cubs season?
|Marc Silverman: Jim Belushi stays away from Wrigley.|
|Pete McMurray: Let's reflect on the back-to-back world champions from 1907 and 1908, shall we?|
|Ernest Wilkins: Third in the NL Central and free of bad contracts.|
|Elliott Serrano: 2015.|
|Sarah Spain: One that doesn't result in the team moving to Rosemont.|
4. The Bulls have wrapped up a playoff spot. What's next?
|Marc Silverman: Just thorns without a Rose.|
|Pete McMurray: Ummm, hello? No. 1? Remember that guy who was the MVP?|
|Ernest Wilkins: Nate Robinson goes ham. #holdat|
|Elliott Serrano: The Return ... home after getting bounced in the first round.|
|Sarah Spain: Wrapping up Derrick's fragile psyche and forcing him onto the court.|
5. Now that the Final Four is set ...
|Marc Silverman: ... we can yell and motion "shocker!" for at least another week.|
|Pete McMurray: ... I can think about my bracket for next year. Damn that OSU!|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... I can say that Wichita State SHOCKED THE WORLD. [falls through a wall]|
|Elliott Serrano: ... we can focus on our own March Madness-themed tourneys! Have you seen the Star Wars one?|
|Sarah Spain: ... I can stop wondering if I'll make any money back on my bracket "investments." (The answer is no.)|