1. Who's your Cinderella pick for March Madness?
Clark Jones: Beyonce! Have you heard her new single? Oh, and Boise State.
Mick Swasko: Wichita State. I'm serious.
Scott Bolohan: Oral Roberts.
John Dooley: Harvard. Can't they just pay their way to the Final Four, anyway?
Angi Taylor: Northwestern, no wait, DePaul, no wait ... Illinois, yes, Illinois.
2. Rate Illinois' chances in the NCAA tournament.
Clark Jones: Equal or greater than Pat Quinn's chances at re-election.
Mick Swasko: As good a chance as the school seeing no public urination tickets during Unofficial.
Scott Bolohan: PG-13.
John Dooley: I give them a 100 percent chance ... of chucking 3s and not working the ball inside.
Angi Taylor: I think they'll make the final 68.
3. What would you call the Tuesday and Wednesday games in the NCAA tournament?
Clark Jones: Time to catch up on things you've been ignoring, like family.
Mick Swasko: Perfect reasons to leave the office early.
Scott Bolohan: March Mehness.
John Dooley: The First Four ... games I lose in the pool to Wendy in Accounting who never watches basketball.
Angi Taylor: The end of a 3-day work week for my husband.
4. When Stacey King says Derrick Rose is "explosive," he means ...
Clark Jones: ... he got so mad, he actually rolled his eyes at somebody.
Mick Swasko: ... he'll be coming back any season now.
Scott Bolohan: ... at any moment, one of his ligaments could explode.
John Dooley: ... his knee is close to "exploding" again.
Angi Taylor: ... he could blow up an entire team by sitting the season out.
5. How should Chris Sale prepare for his opening day start for the Sox?
Clark Jones: Shave the beard. All the Sox pitchers look like River North bartenders.
Mick Swasko: Eating copious amounts of peanuts, Cracker Jack.
Scott Bolohan: Add calories to his diet.
John Dooley: Prepare to greet the 10,000 Sox fans who show up.
Angi Taylor: By trying on turtlenecks under his home uniform. It's cold damnit!