1. Which Chicago athlete should be on "Dancing with the Stars"?
|Matt Pais: Or maybe the show could actually feature real celebs who aren't athletic.|
|Kate Bernot: If by "Dancing with the Stars" you mean "Dancing with Kate in her kitchen to John Legend," then Patrick Sharp.|
|Jane Monzures: Jay Cutler. It would be nice to see him on his feet.|
|Kat Velez: Patrick Kane would wow the judges with his spin moves.|
|Shaun Davis: Carlos Boozer. He's got the facial expressions and screams a spin and dip missed plus the clap.|
2. Knee injuries are to the Bulls as ...
|Matt Pais: ... knee injuries are to the Bears. Translation: Nobody likes knee injuries.|
|Kate Bernot: ... that second stair was to Jennifer Lawrence.|
|Jane Monzures: ... stinky, dirty diapers are to babies.|
|Kat Velez: ... concussions are to the Blackhawks -- they take out important parts of the team for too long.|
|Shaun Davis: ... a nail is to a hammer. Coach Thibs is the hammer and eventually the nail gives way.|
3. Why would the NHL put the Blackhawks and Red Wings in separate conferences?
|Matt Pais: I know, bummer, it totally prevents us all from taking that Detroit road trip we've always wanted.|
|Kate Bernot: The same reasons parents put kicking, screaming, biting children in separate corners.|
|Jane Monzures: No matter how big the rivalry, no one wants to go to Detroit anyway.|
|Kat Velez: The NHL is as tired of the "Detroit sucks" chants as the rest of us.|
|Shaun Davis: Clueless like Gary Bettman, but a Hawks/Red Wings Stanley Cup final would be titanic.|
4. What drill should be added to the NFL scouting combine?
|Matt Pais: Pin the tail on the cheetah.|
|Kate Bernot: Salsa moves. Paging Victor Cruz!|
|Jane Monzures: A combine dunk tank filled with Gatorade.|
|Kat Velez: Dodging questions at press junkets.|
|Shaun Davis: Obstacle courses in all the events.|
5. Why does baseball allow ties in spring training?
|Matt Pais: Because only playoff teams get to wear tuxedos. I said business casual, you bums!|
|Kate Bernot: Because it's nice to see the players all dressed up! Wait, what?|
|Jane Monzures: It's not about winning or losing in preseason, its about getting your new guys some hot chicks in the bleachers.|
|Kat Velez: No one cares.|
|Shaun Davis: Who wants to watch players who won't make the roster play extra inning baseball ? #torture|