1. What other records will the Blackhawks set this season?
|Marc Silverman: The number of fans jumping on a team's bandwagon. And that's totally cool.|
|Pete McMurray: Single-season record for beer sales. Yeah buddy!|
|Ernest Wilkins: Fastest bandwagon construction, for sure!|
|Elliott Serrano: Most newborn children named for an NHL team.|
|Sarah Spain: Most 10-year-old girls proposing marriage to 20-something men via poster.|
2. If Adidas is giving a contract to the fastest player at the NFL combine ...
|Marc Silverman: Isn't that like Weight Watchers signing a skinny guy? I think that player has shoes that work.|
|Pete McMurray: ... match.com is giving away dates to anyone who got dumped by a fake girlfriend.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... then why can't I get one for "most attractive man who can eat 4 cheeseburgers at once"?|
|Elliott Serrano: ... they must be in some sort of hurry to replace ... someone.|
|Sarah Spain: ... then Leon Sandcastle is about to be a very rich man!|
3. After D-Rose's brother, who'll be next to comment on the Bulls star's return?
|Marc Silverman: Waddle and I. Today on ESPN 1000. Make it a point to be there!|
|Pete McMurray: Baby Jesus. "Please Baby Jesus bring D-Rose back to us! Pa-leeeze?!"|
|Ernest Wilkins: Me. Here it is: "Derrick Rose comes back this week."|
|Elliott Serrano: I'm waiting on comment from Adidas for that answer.|
|Sarah Spain: For everyone's sake, let's hope it's Derrick himself.|
4. Spring training games started this weekend. How does that make you feel?
|Marc Silverman: Like listening to an Oscar winner's speech. A bunch of names I've never heard of and it lasts too long.|
|Pete McMurray: That it's just around the corner when we'll be seeing the Cubs in last place.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Amazing. Now can I get my tax return back now so I can afford to go to a game?|
|Elliott Serrano: Like the groundhog lied to me! Where is the early spring we were promised?|
|Sarah Spain: Cold. Get me to Mesa, stat!|
5. Who should be No. 1 in college basketball?
|Marc Silverman: The coach with the silver linings playbook.|
|Pete McMurray: Duke. Because all the women will pick them to win in their NCAA pools!|
|Ernest Wilkins: Why does it matter when the tournament doesn't factor in Top 25 ranking in the slightest?|
|Elliott Serrano: The Hoosiers. Come on, they don't have anything else in Indiana.|
|Sarah Spain: The UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. Just the mascot, not the team.|